Alternate Title: The Snake Goes Ara Ara. By cruel trick of the fates, intervention of stupid gods, or just the apathy of an uncaring universe I find myself awakening as Orochimaru just after he had possessed a woman for his new host. Now I need to find a way to turn this hoard of sycophants and psychos into a force of positive change before I go insane.

I spent more than 30 years avoiding Great Britain, going on my own adventures and meeting different dark lords, evil cabals, and ineffective magical governments. Then a twinkly eyed old Wizard comes to my front door and offers me answers to all my problems. Is it a good enough reason to step foot in the den of racism and politics that is Magical Britain though?