Smut. A pitch-black Broom Cupboard and a case of mistaken identity leaves poor Draco Malfoy reeling.

What happens when your two 'best friends' accidently ply you and your annoying female arch-nemesis with a potion at the end of their Eighth year party that binds you both together if neither of you are married by the time you are 30? Oh, Theo. Oh, Blaise. You utter arseholes...

Inspired by Peaky Blinders. If you can imagine Draco Malfoy with the twisted soul, presence and style of Tommy Shelby, then you've hit the nail on the head. Hermione reluctantly goes undercover at Malfoys pub to pose as a bookkeeper and Barmaid at a little pub called 'The Gallows' to help out Harry on a case he is trying to uncover.