At forty years old, Dudley Dursley is living on Privet Drive with his wife and three magical daughters. What happens when a mysterious creature starts terrorizing the residents of Little Whinging? A slice-of-life one-shot. Rated T because married people still lust after each other, and because Luna isn't shy about showing off her bum.

Two days before the First Task, Harry is desperate for a workable plan, but what he comes up with raises crucial questions. Is it still an Unforgivable if you cast it on yourself? And will it prevent Harry from becoming a dragon's tea-time snack? Two-shot.