Harry Potter has it made. He gets to live in a house, he eats food sometimes, and he's had at least one visit to the optometrist in his entire life. Everything changed one day when a mysterious letter arrives to rudely suggest he is some kind of freak. Subsequently, he finds out that someone out there is trying to murder him. He is only eleven years old.

(OLD WRITING PIECE) Stupid & funny fic. Kind of a parody of the episode of The Simpsons when Sideshow Bob worked at the construction site, only it's Voldemort. Also, Hermione gets Mad Griffin Disease. Takes place during OOTP.