Malfoy puts Harry under a peculiar curse, with unexpected consequences that not even a visit to Hogsmeade Church can set right. Seven years later, Harry explains all to Oliver Wood, leading to an encounter with Kennilworthy Whisp on Bodmin Moor.

The traditional climax of the Dark Wizards' Ball is the waking of the Imbolc Serpent. As the "Dark Wizards" are strictly fancy dress and the Serpent doesn't exist, Harry isn't too worried ... until the Imbolc Serpent actually turns up.

Hagrid has been forbidden to teach any creature of higher classification than XX: harmless, may be domesticated. So nothing can possibly go wrong in his classes now - right? Augureys and Clabberts and Bowtruckles, oh my, not to mention Redneck Wizards.

Percy Weasley has been arrested for murder and sent to Azkaban. Fred and George have a plan to get him out. But they need Harry's help ...

Harry meets Salazar, Draco meets Godric, major irony (think Pet Shop Boys/Peeved!Patrician) ensues.

Transformed into a serpent, a prisoner in Voldemort's lair, Harry must engineer his escape amidst encounters with Nagini, Wormtail and Snape, and then find a way to protect Malfoy from the Dark Lord's wrath when his mission to kill Harry goes awry.

In the aftermath of Lord Voldemort's attack on number four, Privet Drive, Lupin, Snuffles and Snape are hauled in for questioning by the Magical Law Enforcement Patrol. Explicit lycanthropy.

Buzzing around the wreckage of the Dursleys' house, Rita Skeeter meets a terrible fate at the hands of Dudley's friend Gordon; Arthur Weasley investigates.

Don't say you weren't warned. Harry gets invited to the Dark Wizards' Ball; Malfoy resorts to double entendre.

Strange Transfiguration accidents befall Harry and Professor McGonagall; Hermione suspects a potion invented by Voldemort is responsible. Then Professor Snape's rare, valuable and highly embarrassing Famous Wizard card of Harry is stolen ...

Harry discovers a mysterious object buried in the Dursleys' back garden; Snape discovers quite a number of mysterious objects buried in the drawer of his bedside table.

Sex education at Hogwarts: After Draco Malfoy has a near-fatal encounter with Dark Magic, Professor McGonagall decides it needs to be taught earlier. Note the R rating. Nothing explicit, but quite a lot is implied.

When the Hogsmeade Apothecary runs low on potion ingredients, Peter Pettigrew gets his comeuppance and Snape gets the shock of his life. Read if you hate Wormtail!

On the night before his fourteenth birthday, Harry sends a letter to Sirius Black. It doesn't get there. Next day, he gets ... well, read the title.