Hogwarts' super exclusive, very hush-hush, night club

Try to convince me that in a spooky, old, ghost-hunted castle brimming with witches and wizards, there wasn't at least one illegal night club. And if our favorite BAMF werewolf needed to strap himself into a pair of tight leather trousers and fake a crush on his best friend in order to get in? well, such is life. Do we need another fake relationship fic? Yes, yes we do.