Harmony Shepard and the Escape Artists

How the hell is Sirius Black going to even get close enough to tell Harry the truth given a gun-toting, professionally-trained soldier-girl is backing Harry up? This is the true story of Harry, Ron, Hermione Granger, and Harmony Shepard's third Year. Rated M for occasional EXTREME violence. On the Mary Sue Litmus Test, Harry is 84, Harmony is about 50, so... Sue, but less than HIM.