PINEAPPLES

This story won't get any notes 'cause the Harry Potter tag has, like, eight hundred thousand fics but hey, lemme still tell you about the time I looked at a pineapple that sat (stood?) in front of me and brought me into some Lord of the Rings fanfiction - sans Legolas and whole quest business… but with an UNCUT pineapple and one Sirius Black hotter than any Nando's Peri Peri.