The first time I properly met Green Eyes, he was getting his soul sucked out of him. Well, not really. Nevertheless, it was Fudge's dumb move that set the train of events that lead to people now referring to me other than just Fev Chandler; the debatable Fashion Icon and aspiring Sandwich-Maker extraordinaire.

This story won't get any notes 'cause the Harry Potter tag has, like, eight hundred thousand fics but hey, lemme still tell you about the time I looked at a pineapple that sat (stood?) in front of me and brought me into some Lord of the Rings fanfiction - sans Legolas and whole quest business… but with an UNCUT pineapple and one Sirius Black hotter than any Nando's Peri Peri.