Lily Evans and the Mysterious Nipple Ring

Lily is entering her 7th year of Hogwarts where things are immediately starting to go awry; James' Quidditch-toned self is being forced into potions tutoring (golly gosh!), Severus is finding himself acting like Tarzan (sweet merlin!) Sirius has decided to become a gangsta (galloping gargoyles!) and Lily's owl is singing 'Papa Don't Preach'. (PARODY!) Rated for language. Probably.