Sporks and Wives 2: Hogwartian Sue-galoo

First, you take a brilliant humanoid alien with two hearts and a time machine. Then add a beautiful, yet dangerous archaeologist. Thirdly, add two wizarding students with incredible intelligence and the perfect cover. Finally, place them all in the same magical castle. Those poor Mary Sues don't stand a chance. Crossover between Sporks and Wives, and Elementary my dear Goyle.