The Marauders: solemnly together

One enemy in prison

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I swear this chapter is almost 2k words longer than usual, I hope it will make up for the long wait.

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DISCLAIMER JK owes the wizarding world of Harry Potter and the characters in this fanfic. God Bless her.

Last time: School is hard, especially when you don't have your best friend with you, sadly it's the first full moon at Hogwarts for Remus. James and Sirius planned their second prank. Sirius, James and Remus had a fight in the dorm.

. … …. …. …. …. ….

One enemy in prison is better than ten on the loose

Remus felt awful about how he had reacted last night. He had wanted to talk to them… but now they hated him. Before he was just some guy, why is he so stupid? Would they suspect anything?

Peter hadn´t had the time to become friends with Black and Potter. He had tried, he really had, but they just seemed to do something important at all times. They had this "we do really not want to be disturbed, we will hex you if you dare" face on at all times.

Like he had promised himself, Peter had practiced the levitation charm. With no luck, when Remus came back, he would ask him.

When Remus had left him to go home, Peter felt abandon. It was stupid, he knew that Remus would come back, and that they would remain friends.

Later the same day, Peter was in the dorm when Black and Potter came in. They asked where Remus were, if he had abandon Peter. It hit him right in the heart, it was the exact thing he was afraid would happen. Naturally Peter threw the only card he had.

He told them that Remus´ mother is ill. It was wrong, and Peter felt awful about it, though… Remus hadn´t said that they weren't allowed to know it… so, technically…

Having friends was much harder than Peter expected. He wished that him and Remus could get along just like Black and Potter seemed to. That of course, would be easier if Remus were actually here. STOP torturing yourself Peter! Remus will come back. You are friends, you will get along. Just think about how easy it was the first day. When he comes back, it will be just like that again.

The day after Remus left, the first years had their first flying lesson. You could say that Peter was bad, but that would be an understatement. Potter -of course- was brilliant. He probably had practiced from home, Peter lived in a muggle-neighborhood, so there weren´t much of all that. Magic, wizard things.

At first the broom ((surprisingly enough)) came up to him at the moment he said "up". After that it went uphill, or well, it didn´t went up, the broom refused to let him mount it. He had heard someone laugh, but when he looked to see who it was, it stopped.

By lunch Peter missed Remus even more, he was now forced to eat alone. So not-cool, it was a living nightmare.

Peter hated to be alone. It was the worst thing he could imagine. He didn´t ever have a friend before Hogwarts. At muggle-school he was all alone, all the time. Oh well, actually, he wasn´t alone, the other students had bullied him. Peter was -he couldn´t ignore the fact- just a tiny bit chubby. Which gave the other students at school a reason to bully him, pick him last in sport and generally hate him.

Hogwarts should have been this new life to him. A life where he fit in, people like him and no one makes fun of him. It had started just like in muggle-school.

One thing. One thing is all anyone needs to start bully you. Once you have done that thing, they will bully you for… well, everything that makes you… you. Peter couldn´t bear that the same thing happened at Hogwarts. Of course, this time he would have a friend. If that friend didn't abandon him.

Peter was pleasantly surprised that he at least was good at herbology. Black was already brilliant, like at everything else.

History of magic might be the most boring thing ever created. It was probably invented to kill students out of pure boredom. He wasn't even overestimating, try to imagine the most boring thing you can think of; then double it by thousand. It didn't help that he was alone with it. If just Remus was here.

His wish came true the next day when Remus entered the great-hall. He still looked exhausted, but most definitely happier. Peter told him about everything that had happen since he left. He was relieved that Remus was finally here again.

"What have you been doing while I was gone?" Remus asked. Peter didn´t want him to know just how bored he had been, he didn't want his friend to feel guilty for being away because of his mom.

"Nothing much really. I have been trying to cast the levitation charm, but it didn´t work" he hinted.

"While I was in… at home I practiced it, I can help if you like?" Remus offered. Peter wondered what Remus was about to say, "in"? Where was he "in"? Did he accidently use the wrong word, maybe Black and Potter was right about Remus abandon him? No, that doesn't make sense, did it?

"That would be brilliant" he exclaimed happily. Remus smiled to him.

They used the next hour to make Peter master it, at last it actually worked. He couldn´t thank Remus enough for helping. It was weird that they only had known each other for less than three days, Peter felt like they had been friends for years.

Remus had started doing the homework he hadn´t made when he was gone. Peter continued on the things he hadn't finished. He also helped Remus with Herbology and History of Magic, the potions homework was more triggy, they both sucked at that.

It was getting late, Peter had finished his Herbology homework. He had begun the potions, and didn´t even bother history of magic.

"I'm going to bed" Remus announced. Peter looked up, the common room was empty, the only other people were Black and Potter. He wasn't actually tired yet, but one look at Remus and Peter knew that this guy really needed to rest.

"I´m going too" he agreed. They both packed their things and went to the dorm. Just like the first night Remus closed his bed curtains to take on his pajamas. Today, Peter did the same, he didn't want Black and Potter to see him naked and supposed that Remus didn´t want that either.

Peter opened the curtains to say goodnight to Remus, his friend responded the same way. He thought he heard someone yell later the same night, but it was probably nothing.

The next morning Remus was done showering even before Peter woke up. He rushed on Peter, so they could get breakfast, when they left Black got out of his bed, he looked angrily at Remus who hurried out of the door. Peter thought that maybe the yelling last night wasn´t just something he had made up.

They walked down to breakfast without a word to each other. The great hall was almost empty, it was really early, only a few other students was at the other tables. There were most students at the Ravenclaw table. When they sat down and filled their plates with food, Peter tried to find the courage to ask Remus about it.

"Stop, don't drink it" Remus exclaimed, then he bit his lip, as though he shouldn´t have said anything. Peter, who was about to drink some pumpkin juice, stopped halfway to his mouth and shot Remus a questioning look. "Uhh… I mean…" he looked around, his eyes stopped at the Ravenclaw table, he pointed at a student whose head was on her plate. "I think someone put something into the pumpkin juice."

Peter looked around and saw more students drop off to sleep. He smelled to the juice, it had a weird scent. "How did you know?" Peter asked confused. Remus hadn´t been paying attention to the rest of the hall, how could he see the Ravenclaw student fall asleep?

Remus avoided the question. "I bet its Black and Potter, they did the thing with the dungbombs too." He said reasonable and looked at the entrance to see if they were coming in, they did, both laughing.

Friends to all the students who had fallen asleep tried to wake them up. A fifth year from the Ravenclaw table shouted to the great hall, "It's the sleeping draught, they will wake up soon enough, avoid the pumpkin juice." He warned.

"How did you know about the dungbombs?" Peter asked curiously.

"Uhh… I overheard them talking about it." His cheeks had gone slightly pink, "have they done anything suspiciously? Should we turn them in?" he asked the last thing a little uncertain.

Peter thought back on what they could have done. "I know! I saw them brewing a potion in our dorm the other night, right before you came, they said it was for homework, but that was a lie." He whispered to Remus, he wouldn´t risk Black and Potter hearing it. He wasn´t sure if they should turn them in though. "but… maybe we shouldn´t turn them in? We don't want to get into trouble with them." Peter said honestly.

"But… okay fine" Remus exclaimed. He didn´t say anything before their first class.

It wasn´t like Remus wanted them to hate him, but they had been two armed people against one unarmed person. It wasn't fair, he had no chance to defend himself. So, if he could just do… something, at least something, without having to stand face to face with them, he would do it.

Remus was sure Peter would understand if he told him, he had tried to defend his friend, but then there would be questions on why he backed out. Being levitated into the air isn´t the end of the world for everyone.

He had heard things about the Black family, Remus would bet all his galleons that Black would guess what Remus were if he saw him without a shirt. If he saw the bites and the scars. Normally Remus´ shirt were in his pants, but last night he had been in his pajamas. Why was Remus the way he was?

He almost deserved whatever they wanted to do to him, it wasn´t fair to them that they didn´t know. Remus shot a quick look at Peter, his friend wanted to befriend them. He could feel it.

What was it about Remus that made him not good enough for Peter? He had probably felt left when Remus weren´t there. He probably wanted some friends who were around all the time. Could he perhaps sense that part of Remus? Was that why?

Peter and Remus were the first two people in the class room. They found a seat on the first row, he didn´t want to miss out on anything. Anything at all. Slowly the class room filled up, the only person who needed; was the teacher.

One minute… two minutes late… five… after ten minutes she finally came in. By then the whole class was talking, really loudly, Remus tried his hardest not to cover his ears. Black and Potter had started a game of exploding snap with a few other students. It didn´t take long for the teacher to make silence, she shot some red lights into the air. "I want everyone to take their seats" she told the whole class, "quick" she said when some students kept playing, "now, or it will be necessary to take points" the last students sat down.

The teacher was a young woman, not older than nineteen, she has the be the youngest Professor ever to teach at Hogwarts. She had short light-golden hair tied up in a tiny pony-tail. She had green eyes, just like Remus, but hers were more shining, while Remus´ were closer to grey.

Her face was narrow, but at the same time round. Freckles were covering all of her face, and she had a big wide smile on her face.

"My name is Cassandra Casher, to you I will be Professor Casher, I am your Defense Against the Dark Arts professor this year, I have been travelling around the earth ever since I graduated from Hogwarts, next year I will go travel more, today we will learn Petrificus Totalus, does anyone know about it?" She looked hopefully out on the class. She speaks fast and yet calm.

Remus shot his hand into the air. But she picked someone else, Black. "Yes mr…?"

"Black" he answered importantly, "Petrificus Totalus is the full body-bind curse. It´s used to petrify the victim."

"It is used to temporarily bind the victim's body in a position much like that of a soldier at attention; the victim will usually fall to the ground." Remus said without even thinking. Black glared angrily at him, Remus just smiled better-knowing at him. He had already read all their books.

Professor Casher didn´t seem to notice that, "good, good both of you, ten points to Gryffindor. Will you come up here and demonstrate please" it wasn't a question.

Remus froze, he might have known about the curse, but he had no idea how to cast it. He looked at Black out of the corner of his eye, he poked Potter in the side and walked proudly up in front of the class to demonstrate. It was obvious that he knew how to cast it.

Remus slowly raised from his seat, he could feel the eyes from everyone in the class room on him. Black smirked to him, clearly aware that Remus was nervous.

"I don't expect anyone one of you to do it in first try. But do your best, okay?" Remus nodded unconscious, Black already had his wand ready. "On the count of three. One… two… three… now!"

"Petrificus Totalus"

"Petrificus Totalus" they said it at almost the exact same time, Black was faster. Remus felt his arms forced down by his side and prepared to fall, but Professor Casher grabbed him, she used the counter-curse on him. Black was already at his seat again and laughed with Potter. He sent a look that clearly said; that was for last night. It made Remus even more determined than before to take revenge.

"That was brilliant, ten more points to Gryffindor" Professor Casher announced. "Now I want y'all to find a partner and practice on each other" she swished her wand and all the tables in the room moved to the sides while a bunch of pillows appeared.

All the students in the room started casting the spell on each other, Remus looked at Peter, "you go first or me?" He asked.

"You start, we can switch turn" Peter offered.

Remus nodded, glad that his friend understood. He took a deep breath, concentrated on the spell, tried to power his wand, and said the words; Petrificus Totalus.

To his happiness and big surprise, the spell worked. Peter´s arms were forced down by his side and he felt backwards on the pillows.

"Good, good, ten points to Gryffindor." Professor Casher told the whole class and used the counter-curse on Peter. Remus searched for Black, and as he thought, he stared angrily at Remus. As respond, Remus smirked to him, tried to tell with it; bite me.

The rest of the time Peter tried to cast the spell on Remus, in the end he almost successfully did it. To both Remus´s and Peter´s amusement, Potter couldn´t do it. The only other student who did it was Evans.

Remus was really proud of himself, he had done it in second attempt, only two other students had managed. He had earned twenty points to Gryffindor and showed Black and Potter that he wasn't weak.

"That was very good all of you. I want you all to practice it till next time, be sure that there is a professor or an older student who knows the counter-curse nearby. Good, good, class dismissed." Professor Casher told the class when the school bell rang. "Oh, mister Lupin, can I have a word with you please?" she added to Remus. He hadn't expected that.

"You just go, I will come in a minute." He told Peter, who followed the last students out of the classroom. Professor Casher closed the door and put a silencing charm on it.

Remus wasn't sure what she wanted to talk about, surely, he couldn´t have done anything wrong yet.

"I don't know if Professor Dumbledore has told you, but I know that you´re a werewolf" she had said it so quickly and so matter-of-factly that Remus almost didn´t even register it. His mind went black, did she hate him? Is that why she had put him to demonstrate?

"B-but Dumbledore s-said…"

"That it was only the teachers he knew would understand who knows" she cut him off, "and seeing as I will only be teaching you for one year, I probably wouldn´t be the person he should tell." She gave him a wry smile.

He still wasn´t sure why she told him this. "I just thought, that you should know, that I know." She said when she saw his confused face. "I don't think he is going to tell most of the Defense Against the Dark Arts professors, when I was in school, rumor has it that the job is cursed, we had seven different professors throughout my time at Hogwarts." She looked out in the air as if she thought at that time.

"Uh, why are you telling me this?" he asked quietly, he didn´t want to disturb her.

She smiled to him. "I work for an organization that will try make life easier for werewolves, I will work here for the year, after that I will travel around the earth again to help someone like you. That's probably the only reason Dumbledore hired me, I´m not particularly skilled when it comes to school, I could never concentrate, is it true that Professor Binns still work here?" she was still talking really quick.

"Uh, I heard so, I haven´t had History of Magic yet… you know, the moon and all." He said shyly, Remus wasn´t used to people knowing about him, and not once threatened to call the ministry.

"Course, course, but anyways I just wanted you to know that I know, that I have no problem with it, and that you are really talented." She smiled to him.

"Really?" he smiled too, "It's not just something you say to be polite?" he added hopefully.

"Its not, you really are good, you can go now, I have to clean up anyways." She smiled to him. She actually thought that Remus was good, it was weird, he felt much happier as he walked out of the door. "Lupin wait!" she said as he stood at the door, he turned around and waited. "Take care of yourself, and don't give up" she smiled, but there was something serious in her voice. He knew that she didn´t just mean the whole werewolf part, also the human part.

"Course" he said and walked out of the door, he closed it careful behind him and headed to his next class.

He didn´t see Black and Potter before they were right in front of him. His smile immediately faded.

"What did she say to you?" Black asked harshly.

"None of your business" he whispered and tried to walk by them, they blocked him.

"Tell, or we´ll discuss wand to wand" Potter teased.

Remus stood for a moment, he didn´t want to give in, neither he wanted to duel them. He could run away, but that was the same as giving in. He decided to tell them… and later turn them in. They shouldn´t get off him so easily.

"She told me that… that I was very talented." He looked Black right in his grey eyes. Remus could see and sense that he considered if Remus told the truth. "Can I go now?" he added, "I´m going be late for class"

They hesitated but let him go through. Remus let out a sigh of relief, he hadn´t even realized that he had hold his breath. It was a test, a test he had passed.

In transfiguration they should continue to turn a match into a needle. Neither Remus or Peter managed to do it, Peter managed to blow his up, again.

"You have to imagine the needle" Remus told Peter.

"If it is that easy, why don't you do it?" Peter teased.

Remus rolled his eyes, "I said it was simple not easy. Transfiguration is harder than I thought." He stared down at his match, that was still a match.

"Don't be so harsh on yourself, I´m sure you will learn it, besides, we´re not the only ones who can´t do it" Peter pointed out.

It was true enough, only Black, Potter, Longbottom and Bing had managed. Longbottom and Bing helped other students while Black and Potter talked with each other. They send Remus a death glare. Peter noticed.

"What is it with you and them? Why are they so mad at you?" he asked concerned.

"I don't know" Remus said truthful, "they just decided that they didn't like me, I suppose" he sighed. Why? That was it right? Why did they hate him so much? He hadn´t done anything worse than them. They both criticized each other and defended their friend. They should be even.

By then end of the class Alice Ping had also managed to transfigure her match. Professor McGonagall assigned them more homework; to practice turning the match into a needle.

During lunch Remus tried to transfigure his match into a needle, without any luck. Because the Gryffindors had astronomy later, they didn´t have any classes the rest of the day. They could use that time to do their homework.

"We can go to the library then? You are still behind, maybe you can catch up today" Peter suggested.

Remus tried to transfigure his match one last time. Peter was right, it would be nice not to be behind. "You are right, maybe then we can find some older students, so you can practice…" Remus was cut off when someone grabbed him by his shoulders. He took a deep breath…


"Aw, can´t little Lupin and little Pettigrew turn their matches into needles? Huh?" Black asked them as if they were small kids. He squeezed Remus´s shoulder. "Do you need help?" he asked and squeezed harder. Remus´s shoulder still hurt after the full moon, he bit his lip to not scream, or worse, bite Blacks hands off.

"Stop it! You´re hurting him" Peter stood up defensively.

"Aw little Loopy, do you need someone else to stand up for you?" Potter joined in. Black squeezed harder. Remus desperately breathed through his nose, if he could just…

"Stop it right now! Or else…"

"What Pettigrew? Are you going to fight us? Oh yeah that's right, you can't!" Black said and sent Peter a death glare. "Now sit down, or its going be worse for little Loopy here."

Peter hesitated, he knew he couldn´t beat Black and Potter, but he had to stand up for Remus. Black squeezed harder. Remus looked pleadingly at Peter, sit down please, I don't care, sit down. Peter slowly sat down. Black loosened his grasp on Remus.

"Now, you two don't forget who's the boss here" Potter said with his hand on the table. Remus and Peter both nodded. Black squeezed hard one last time and slapped Remus on the side of his head before they left.

Remus tried to make himself as small as possible, he looked down as he ate the rest of his food. Neither of them talked about it, neither of them wanted to talk about it. The happiness he had felt in Defense Against the Dark Arts were all gone now. They walked silently to the library and began to do their homework.

He tried to concentrate about the potions homework, but just couldn´t. Black and Potter had won, he felt weak for admitting it. Remus is a bloody werewolf, they should be terrified of him.

When Remus was younger he used to dream of Hogwarts. In his dreams, Hogwarts was a place of magic, happiness and friends. Not bullying.

Something was definitely off about Black, his smell, Remus´s couldn´t put his finger on what it was.

"I'm sorry" Peter said eventually. Remus looked confused at him. "I´m sorry that I couldn´t stand up for you"

"Its not your fault Peter, I can't stand up to them either, they are both better than us" he sighed. It really wasn't Peter´s fault. It was Black´s and Potter´s. Remus decided, they shouldn´t get away with bullying him or Peter. He would turn them in.

With a quick look at the clock, Remus saw that all classes should be done by now. That meant that Professor McGonagall either were in her office or the teachers' lounge.

"I´m going to use the bathroom" he told Peter and left. It took him a while to find Professor McGonagall. At one point he heard Black and Potter, he quickly ran in the other direction. When Remus finally found it, he knocked on the door.

"Come in" said a voice from the other side of the door. He opened the door and found a seat around her desk. She looked down in some papers, Remus wasn´t sure if he should just begin talking, she hadn´t even looked at him when he came in.

Her office was filled with books on each side of the room, behind her there was a window with a view of the training grounds. On the right side of the room, there was another door that probably leads to her bedroom. On the left side there was a fireplace and an empty trophy cabinet. The room was decorated in red and gold, Gryffindor colors.

"What do you want to talk about mister Lupin? I suppose everything went fine the other night?" she talked stern and fast, it was obvious that she was busy. Remus wondered why, it was only the start of term, surely there couldn´t be so much work already?

"Uh… I k-know who p-put sleeping d-draught in the p-pumpkin juice this morning." He said quietly, now that he was here, he felt daring, but also a little bit stupid, then he remembered what they had done at lunch. "It was Black and Potter" he said with a bit more self-confidence.

McGonagall raised her eyebrow. "You do realize mister Lupin, that you won't get friends by spilling the beans." She said, eyes still on the work.

He didn´t expect that. He had done the right thing, right? They did something wrong, he told a Professor, so they could be punished, what was wrong with that?

"Uh… yea I know that! I don't want to be friends with them." He said a bit too harshly, "aren´t you going to do anything about it?" he added.

"Now that I know I will be sure to punish them" Remus sighed with relief. "But it was a harmless prank, nothing bad would happen if they just skipped this one time. You will find out that it is not a good idea that you spill the beans, that won't get you any friends." Professor McGonagall said coldly. Remus felt anger rise in him, why did everyone not count Peter as friends enough?

"I have Peter, I don't need others, ma'am" Remus said in a controlled voice. She didn´t even look up. Why was she acting like this? He just tried to do the right thing, isn´t that what you are supposed to do? Isn´t that the thing good kids do? "Fine!" he said harshly. "Fine! Just fine! I understand, you don't like me because I´m not human." He hadn´t intended to yell it, sometimes he just lost control.

Now she looked at him. "You are indeed human mister Lupin! But I will not tolerate you talking to me like this. I am your Professor and head of your house, respect that!" she looked stiffed at him. He slowly sat down again.

"Sorry Professor" he murmured. Why was he this way?

She smiled sympathetic to him. "My point is that you shouldn´t make it harder for yourself. With school and moons, you don't need enemies too." He nodded. "You can go now." He did.

Remus wasn´t so sure anymore that he had done the right thing. Despite only have being mean to him, he wanted to be their friend, he hated to admit it and felt ashamed. How come he want to befriend his bullies?

"You were long about that" Peter said. Remus hadn´t even been aware that he was in the library. "hey, are you feeling alright?" he asked with concern.

"yeah, I´m fine" Remus said feeling much better now. Why did he even worry about Black and Potter, Remus had all he needed in Peter. "Want to eat early? Then we can continue in the library after that?" he suggested.

"Sounds good" Peter agreed, "I´m starving."

Remus grinned.

Luckily, they were free from Black and Potter during dinner. They ate fast and walked back to the library. They sat there to almost twelve when Madam Pince kicked them out.

"Doesn't matter. We were going to Astronomy anyways" Peter pointed out. Remus agreed. They found a group of other Gryffindor first years who they followed up to the Astronomy tower. That was when Remus realized that he missed his wand.

"Shoot, I forgot my wand at the library" he exclaimed and stopped to turn around.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Peter asked.

Remus shook his head. "No need to, you will just be late, I will run." Peter smiled and hurried to catch up to the other Gryffindors. Remus turned to the library.

"Hello?" he said when he reached the library. No one answered, it was all dark in there. Remus walked inside and found his wand under the table were him and Peter sat earlier. He sighed with relief, if Remus had lost his wand… his parents didn´t have the money to buy a new one, let's just say it that way.

He ran slowly up to the Astronomy tower, if Remus hurried he wouldn´t be late…

What was that sound?

Remus stopped in the middle of the corridor and raised his wand. His heart beat fast as he searched the presumably empty corridor. There most definitely was someone here, but he couldn´t see them, neither could he smell them, but he could sense them. He concentrated on breathing, why did he have to be so scared? He didn´t belong in Gryffindor.

He had asked the hat to put him in Gryffindor, but… but it had also said that he had loads of courage. Remus didn´t feel very brave right now. He couldn´t shake the weird feeling off that someone was watching him.

As Remus was trying to make up his mind if there was someone here or not; his bag was levitated into the air. It was just above him, but out of his reach. He tried to jump and catch it, but when he did that it only levitated higher above. Remus was scared, there was someone here, who he couldn´t smell, couldn´t completely sense and couldn´t see.

Unfortunately, his bag opened; quills, books and parchment fell out of it. His ink bottle fell out and crashed on his head, black ink was in his hair and it dripped down his face, the other bottle fell to the ground and ruined his books.

"Hi" a voice said behind him.

Remus got a shock, his heart skipped a beat as he jumped around to see who had said it, unfortunately he fell in the ink, he was now on the ground staring up at Black and Potter. Where did they come from? There had been no hiding places. They were both furious. He sank.

"Did you hurt your head Loopy? Cause I think you lost your memory, pretty sure me and James told you not to mess with us!" Black said angrily. Remus stared at them, he wished he didn´t, but he was frozen. So, he lay still, and concentrated on breathing.

"I bet, with those big robes he would fall sooner or later." Potter teased, Black grinned.

"Breath Remus! Breath. Don't give in. breath! Come on for Merlin's sake Breath Remus" he thought desperately.

"What´s the matter? Scared without your little petty friend?" Black teased. They both hovered threatening over Remus, he still concentrated on breathing.

"You suppose he begged the hat to put him in Gryffindor?" Potter asked his friend, "he doesn´t seem very brave to me" they both laughed.

"Breath! Just breath. They don't know, its not their fault. Breath!" his heart still beat quickly, he tried to get his breathing under control. Remus had to not loose control, who knows what will happen if he does?

"Aw, are you crying little Loopy?" Potter said, with fake concern in his voice, it made Black laugh. Remus hadn´t realized that he cried, but now he could feel the tears in his eyes. He tried to keep them in.

"Breath. In and out. In and out. In and out"

"Let's see what we have here" Black said, he picked up one of Remus´s books. At that Remus broke out of his trance.

"I´TS MINE!" he yelled as he raised from the ground. Remus fumbled with his wand, at the time he had raised it both Black and Potter had theirs raised and pointed them at Remus. He didn't know who to point on. They were both better than him, he could maybe take out one, but then the other would shoot at him. Black had dropped the book on the ground.

"You know you can't do it Lupin" Black said seriously. It amused him to have power over Remus. "Now drop your wand, or we´ll shoot."

"Breath Remus. Breath!"

Slowly, Remus put the wand in his pocket and raised his hands in defeat. The others lowered their wands.

"Come Sirius we´ll be late for Astronomy" Potter said casually to Black, "If you turn us in again its going to be worse for yourself Loopy" he added angrily to Remus. Then Black pushed Remus, so he fell down again, they walked away.

"Breath. Breath. Breath! BREATH!" tears were forming in the young werewolf's eyes. As soon as Black and Potter had turned around the corner they were streaming down his face. Remus collected all his books, parchment and broken quills; he found his way to the lavatory and tried to take the ink off.

All the time tears kept streaming down his face. Right now, right here, Remus somehow wished that he had never come to Hogwarts. He would rather have the fake lie about a magical castle in the fields of Scotland, than the cruel reality of a hell in form of a school.

He would have to ask his parents for more ink and quills, he knew it. Remus really didn´t want to, wasn´t it enough that they had already payed for it one time? Maybe he could use his pocket money to buy it? Then he wouldn´t have to explain anything to his parents.

Peter and Professor McGonagall was right, he should never have turned Black and Potter in. He thought it would be a good revenge, but… it wasn't! It had become a hell. For the ten thousand time, why was he like this? WHY?! Why couldn´t he just be normal, be like everyone else? Why couldn´t he just? Remus cried even harder when he realized; he would never be like everyone else. Remus was a beast, a monster, no one else at Hogwarts were that.

He never made it to Astronomy.