""Don't move!" I opened my eyes and went cross eyed as I focused on the thin, round stick that was centimeters from poking the bridge of my nose. ...Is this for real? I slapped it away without thinking." After enduring her friend's psycho Russian ritual, Rebekah finds herself surrounded by loons... or somehow inside JK Rowling's Hogwarts in the 70's. But that's crazy, right?

Sirius clamped his hands on her small shoulders, forcing her back at arm's length while she snapped her teeth at him. He had the oddest look on his face. "Do you seriously want to bite me?" ...Huh. That was right. She did want to bite him, now that he called attention to it. "Let me bite you, and I'll leave you alone," Tawnie quickly bargained. He was horrified. "No!"

Three goddesses seeking peace must balance perfection with chaos in order to finally, AT LAST, extend the Marauder's lives past 40 after literally millions of tries. "The Marauders died again." HE declared smugly. "What! But—but Marge was perfect! How'd he die?" "As it turns out, Marge stabbed him with a butcher knife." "See? An arguing, fighting couple doesn't always work out."

The competition? Who can befriend Beverly Frost, the nobody, and become her best friend. The prize? James's soul, 800 galleons, and a fancy broom with the extra bonus of Beverly Frost's company! Oh joy! May the best cheater win. ON HIATUS

Your life has become what feels like a never ending circus act, and you're one of the trained monkeys performing—and then what? Who are you off-stage? You'll never know because you never step off; you're forever locked into the spotlight.

"Adams is covering me as far as an alibi, don't worry." MEANWHILE... "Pfft. If Sirius thinks I'll waste my time, sitting here doing nothing for ten minutes just so he won't get expelled... Well, then, he's got another thing coming."

"Every minute he wasted on me was the best minute of my life. Do you know how many minutes you stole away from me?" "I just... You were so important to him!" "Not as much as you."

After James Potter is killed, all his sister is left with is pain... and hate.

"OW! WHY ARE YOU RUBBING THAT ERASER AGAINST MY FACE?" "I'm trying to erase your face because God messed up."

"Hello, Lily, dearest! Fancy meeting you here!" I could practically see that stupidly cheerful smile on his face, as if he were genuinely happy to see me. Creepy little bugger, Potter... "Why am I locked in a broom closet with you, Potter?"

"Come on out guys. You had your fun—eavesdropped on our conversation, made us think that you ditched us in Hogsmeade, but WE won because WE got what we wanted—ZEH CHOC-O-LOT!" I cackled. MAY BE A PART OF A LARGER STORY LATER ON.

Don't ask me why I did that. It was cruel, and intensely heartless, but I couldn't help but think that wasn't the way I had wanted this to happen. He turns me down, I turn him down. The prick.