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The Carnivorous Muffin

  • Hogsmeade Abides

    Harry and Tom take a trip to Hogwarts and end up, once again, discussing Harry's unfailing optimism and Tom's existential angst. Side fic to "When Harry Met Tom"

  • The Wonderful Lives of Godric and Salazar

    In a fit of desperation in a hypothetical Triwizard Tournament, Lily summons the founders from the dead to prove that setting dragons on students is crossing some sort of line. Side fic of "Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus" and sequel of sorts to "Default Origins"

  • A Lost Conversation

    In the place before and after all worlds ever existed, Lily and Rabbit share a one-sided conversation. Side fic to "Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus"

  • All Our Grand Ambitions

    After graduating Hogwarts, Tom Riddle finds himself a store clerk while Harry Evans finds herself becoming Indiana Jones. Side fic to "When Harry Met Tom"

  • Glimmers of Fatherhood

    Lily shares the good news, Tom panics. Side fic to "October"

  • A Code of Honor

    Tom Riddle starts in on Harry's Potions tutoring and it goes about as well as one could expect. Side fic to "When Harry Met Tom"

  • What I Choose to Believe

    December 1992, after Hogwarts breaks for the holidays during a frightful term, Luna Lovegood goes out of her way to interview Frank the vampire. Side fic to "Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus"

  • The Castle Where Eternity Dwells

    Elizabeth Riddle knows too much about things that prove to be both out of time and mostly useless as her twin brother searches for the castle where eternity dwells and the revolution which must open its doors. AU SI insert.

  • The Heir of Slytherin

    Once, in the early Fall of 1992, Eleanor Lily Potter had a chance to slay a basilisk before the chamber could be opened. Without the heir of Slytherin Lockhart decides to direct a play, Lily struggles with homework, and Wizard Trotsky must come up with a plan b. Side fic to "Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus", "Phantom of the Opera" Themed

  • To Choose Glory

    Once, after mysteriously travelling back in time more than fifty years, Harry Potter was sorted into Slytherin. Side fic to "When Harry Met Tom"

  • The Night Before the Morning After

    After driving a very expensive car to attract men ended in pitiful failure a desperate Lily goes back to the drawing board, and then desperately takes up Lenin's advice. Fortunately or not, it goes off the rails. Sequel to "Life in the Fast Lane" and side fic of "Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus"

  • The Burning Taste of Fire Whiskey

    Tom, seventy-one in spirit but still around twenty-five in flesh, has climbed to the top of the government with only his overbearing snake Nagini as a companion. However, when Nagini one day grows ill, and Tom runs into young creature healer and recent Hogwarts graduate Harry Potter, all of that changes.

  • Mr Weasley Goes to Riddle Incorporated

    Bill Weasley, human Gringotts employee, is sent out to make nice with Lily Riddle's vampires and find out what the blazes is going on in Albania. There he meets an unaccommodating Frank. side fic to "Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus"

  • Ships in the Night

    Before he was Azrael and after he was Harry Potter, Death and an unnamed smuggler discuss dying, legacies, and more on a barren moon. Side fic of "October"

  • The Wonderful World of Fanfiction

    The Carnivorous Muffin speaks a lot in third person as she puts together a talk show, featuring interviews prompted by the reviewers, to the various characters she's written about on this website. There are also commercials, infomercials, trailers, and more. A tangent fic to everything ever. Or, more shortly, a question and answer fic for the characters. (Includes all fandoms)

  • The Rainbow Connection

    On an ordinary winter's day, Harry and Tom sit beside the lake and Harry finally gets around to explaining just what song she heard that one day so long ago. side fic to "When Harry Met Tom"

  • Tom Riddle and the Curse of Witch Weekly

    It finally happens, Witch Weekly discovers Lily and Tom Riddle's newfound relationship, Lily attempts to navigate the consequences with little success. Side fic to "October"

  • My Immortal Lily and the Art of Bringing Me to Life

    On what seems like an ordinary day in Hogwarts Lily and company find themselves in a surreal reality that seems to hinge entirely on a strange transfer student by the name of Ebony Way. Now, with reality tearing at the seams, Lily must find a way to save the universe before everything she knows and loves sinks into a goffick abyss. Crossover with the immortal fic "My Immortal"

  • Blue Skies on Mars

    At the end of Morgan's dream, the dead Kuato, played by none other than the strange boy from the arcade in the body of a Martian mutant comes to speak about self, memory, and Tom Riddle. Side fic to "Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus"

  • A Series of Failed Turing Tests

    The Carnivorous Muffin's computer, one dark and stormy night, becomes sentient! Or, at least, sentient enough to write post-modern fanfiction. By devouring fic after fic of The Carnivorous Muffin's work, The Carnivorous Muffin computer now comes to you with new original fanfiction. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll probably laugh and cry. Based on other Carnivorous Muffin fanfics.