James bolted upright with a shout and leaped onto Sirius's bed who yelled in agony because James had driven his elbow into his stomach. Peter fell off his bed and started screaming like a girl. Remus looked over at a clock near his bed, and then he sat up like a zombie; Brandishing a textbook in one hand and his wand in the other he yelled, "YOU TOSSERS! It's five in the morning!"

This is the Google Translated Version of the original tale, We Spend Far Too Much Time in the Hospital Wing. Example: Original line: "Oi Oakley, How's your arm?" After 10 layers of Google Translate: "Wow Oakley! You're a weapon?" Story-line is not coherent but random sentences make it funny to read. Happy April Fools Day!