Introduction: My name is Dr. Tax-fattened-hyena, I deal with malignant maladies of the mind. Particularly blank canvases. So naturally I do a lot of work with Disney Princesses and other damsels previously or currently in distress. These poor ladies suffer from many maladies: fear of blowing away due to tiny waist size, gerontophobia, chronomentrophobia... Curse you Disney!

A fitting end to the sappy story that stole the hearts of thousands of teenage girls. This story is geared towards those who are tired of the screaming women, the serious romantic language, and of course the abominable bond between Jacob Black and Renesmee.(Jacob was too hot for that) I shudder at the absolute perversion that was! SO- A GIFT TO THE VICTIMS OF THE TWILIGHT SAGA!