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Dumbothepatronus

  • Tis but a Scratch

    Salazar has awakened in a land of giants, where everything is wonky and even dogs don't appear to work properly. But no matter; Salazar has a plan-if only he can snap Rowena out of her funk first.

  • Through the Cracks

    It's been a year of rotten luck: Goblin Flu, homeschool woes, and inconvenient safety precautions. So when baby Ginny isn't talking like she should, Molly tries her best to step into the role of speech therapist.

  • Gentle Repose

    It's been a long, boring retirement for Harry Potter. But when he goes adventuring in the Forbidden Forest, he gets a little bit more than he bargained for. Inspired by the 1962 episode of The Twilight Zone, "The Hunt."

  • Karma's A Banshee

    Stupid hair, stupid face, stupid way of talking-to Draco Malfoy, Azkaban Prision #594, Cormac McLaggen is absolutely unbearable. It's unfortunate that thanks to Granger's "fresh air for Azkaban inmates" program, he's also his only ticket to the outside world. Thanks to Draco's talents, however, he holds the key that could be McLaggan's downfall.

  • Alton Park After Dark

    Marietta Edgecombe had never cared much for Alton Towers, least of all "Gangster Granny," the cheesiest ride in amusement park history. And yet, here she was, clutching a silver urn under her fur-lined cloak as to protect it from the freezing December air. As if it was even worth protecting.

  • We All Fall Down

    Nearly three hundred years ago, Hermione and Draco distributed Philosopher's Stones to dying children. They thought they were saving the world; unfortunately, ten months ago, a stone fell into the wrong hands. Now the world is on fire, and Hermione alone can save it. The only problem is, it will cost her everything.

  • When We Were Wizards

    Harry Potter has been battling a dragon inside of him for ages, and he doesn't want to talk about it. But when Hermione Granger shows up with a troll of her own to face, he discovers that friends can be found in the most unlikely places. One-shot, Muggle!AU

  • Impostor (in my own skin)

    The jade sits cold against her wrist despite the Arizona heat, promising ancient magic that can connect her to her birth-parents; that can help her find where she belongs. That is, if she can unlock their secrets. One-shot.

  • You Shouldn't Have

    Salazar considers himself a gentleman, a man of good breeding. That's what makes it all the more embarrassing when the gift he picks out for Rowena doesn't go over as well as he hoped.

  • Hope in a China Teacup

    After the death of his wife, Draco Malfoy finds himself completely alone and spending way too much time with the mysterious veil that separates him from his love. Please see warnings in A/N. Platonic Draco/Luna.

  • Frogsong

    Trevor has been lonely for five long years. But when he finally finds a boy that hums with the ancient magic, he isn't sure if he's the right toad for the job.

  • The Kids Are Not Okay

    The Dragon Pox Pandemic has left Molly Weasley in a rut, but it'll be ok. She's homeschooled her children before and she will do it again. What she doesn't take into account is Charlie's adventurous spirit and taste for mischief.

  • Bubble Sky, Floating Orb

    Harry fumbles through the mental fog and peers out through eyes he can't control. He might be helpless now, but not for long. As soon as he regains control of his body, these aliens will regret their attempt to take over the world.

  • Draco Meowfoy: Aristocat

    For the past two years, Professor Granger has been keeping an embarrassing secret, which is threatened to become unearthed when a certain blonde aristocrat invades her apartment building as well as her workplace. When troublesome students and a blackmailing boss babe threaten her livelihood and her sanity, how will she manage to straighten things out? Dramione/weekly updates

  • Instructions Not Included

    His symptoms clack together in Hermione's mind, faceless wooden puzzle pieces with no instructions included. When Hermione feels like she's failing at everything, how can she bring them together into one big picture?

  • Still Remains

    For twenty years, George has avoided the cold stone halls he once roamed with his brother. But no more. It's time to face his memories and his grief, and find who they left behind the picture frames so many years ago. One-shot.

  • A Tree in Winter Bears No Fruit

    Hermione and Draco are so excited to be expecting their third baby. Unfortunately, their first prenatal visit doesn't go according to plan.

  • Better the Deathbed You Know

    It's been a seventeen lifetimes. Two thousand years of Hermione Granger, constant irritation and source of eternal guilt. Despite the horror he finds himself in, he isn't sure he has the courage to defy the circumstances he was born into and put his fate at risk to save the witch whose blood cries out to him. One-shot, unless I decide to expand this eventually.

  • Sand Falling

    She knows why she did it. What she doesn't understand is why it was there. Pansy Parkinson watches as the hourglass empties, grain by ugly grain of sand falling into the bottom well as she chokes on her own throat in Draco Malfoy's stone-cold bed. Pansy/Draco, NO HEA

  • Big Noisemaker

    Charlie knows in his heart he is destined for bigger things, but sitting in a classroom to get the education he needs to achieve those things is pure torture for this adrenaline junkie. When Tonks catches wind of a potential adventure, his ears perk up-he'd do just about anything to bring a little bit of excitement into his life. One-shot. Platonic Tonks/Charlie.