Sima Yi Answers Letters
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Summary
Inspired by Cao Cao Answers Letters. Sima Yi answers letters from his fellow Dw characters. May have a couple of uncensored swears and Sima Yi being everything in the book of asshole-ry. For first-time readers, read the reviews in order to get some of the letters. I swear if you read the newer chapters, you might think you're reading Gintama. Okay, that's my fault.
Characters
Sima Yi Answers Letters
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1758.3k words
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- #1 A man wearing purple can't be that bad
- #2 Maybe
- #3 Maybe not
- #4 Okay, a man in purple is bad
- #5 Seriously,never talk to men in purple
- #6 Purple men need to be avoided
- #7 Purple men in stupid hats are horrible
- #8 Yeah, just don't
- #9 hey
- #10 idiot
- #11 stop
- #12 reading
- #13 the
- #14 chapter
- #15 titles
- #16 You
- #17 are
- #18 still
- #19 doing
- #20 it
- #21 imbecile
- #22 Maaaaageeic
- #23 Demons are dicks
- #24 Get off my lawn!
- #25 We do not encourage teen pregnancy
- #26 Period joke!
- #27 Broke the 4th wall hard again
- #28 Cookie bribes
- #29 Yes, I actually made a hundred questions
- #30 Sexsexsexsexsexviewwhorebyaddingsex
- #31 Family Guy vomiting
- #32 Talking fridges and stoves
- #33 this sounds sexual
- #34 Balding
- #35 No, I don't want to go fucking bowling!
- #36 She swore!
- #37 ugh, mpreg
- #38 Not satisfying any shippers
- #39 making fun of same-sex porn
- #40 Chapter 40
- #41 Ugh,men don't have uteri no matter what
- #42 This is the meaning of life
- #43 No longer single ready to mingle
- #44 They see me pimpin', they hatin'
- #45 Nanmanzon
- #46 Getting high
- #47 Free space
- #48 No name title, suckers
- #49 Still empty
- #50 Chapter 50
- #51 Slow down
- #52 Hell, maybe another one
- #53 I'm scraping the barrel here
- #54 More scraping the barrel
- #55 Mail Time with Zhou Yu cameo-ish
- #56 Condoms don't exist buddy
- #57 Reverse abortion?
- #58 Murder time Fun time
- #59 Murder has never been so romantic
- #60 I have no life I mean 60 chaps?
- #61 Merry Roman Holiday Eve
- #62 Merry Roman Hoilday
- #63 Sue me, Capcom
- #64 Don't be silly, wrap up your willy
- #65 I'm a nerd
- #66 Too many penis jokes
- #67 Slow day today
- #68 When little girls attack
- #69 Ha, 69
- #70 70 chapters of this nonsense u weirdos
- #71 Is Sima Yi a Nintendo protagonist now?
- #72 Mmhm
- #73 Dw8 Empires promotion
- #74 Shovels solve everything
- #75 Screw time differences
- #76 Very fast vacation
- #77 I did it again
- #78 Fuck you biological sciences
- #79 Drugs are bad, m'kay?
- #80 Breakfast machine
- #81 Sorry, nothing to write here
- #82 Chapter 82
- #83 Sima Yi
- #84 IT'S OVER 9000! Words
- #85 Yay, robots
- #86 Sweet 444 reviews
- #87 Always choose Masterbate
- #88 TF2 cameos and refs?
- #89 I put the 'ass' in 'half-assed'
- #90 The Good, The Bad And The Pretty
- #91 Seriously, how does he poop?
- #92 Let's go back to China, shall we?
- #93 The best way to travel is by suitcase
- #94 Semen money
- #95 I am a filthy plagiarist
- #96 Very sticky fluid-like bird poop
- #97 Throwing stuff is mysoltuonforeverything
- #98 Mulan-ing this shit
- #99 So many important numbers
- #100 Chapter 100
- #101 its not me, its THEM who want the penis
- #102 Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
- #103 Shameless self-promotion
- #104 Huh, I must've pressed the wrong story
- #105 Chapter 105
- #106 Chapter 106
- #107 Xun Yu DLC Outfit Confirmed
- #108 DW8 Empires Stage DLC Confirmed
- #109 Hahahahahaha fake yaoi hahahaha
- #110 7TP
- #111 This is about as gay it is going to get
- #112 Get things done
- #113 Cries That Could Have Happened!
- #114 I think I like the four of them together
- #115 Yeah! Emperor is the Shogun!
- #116 Mm, I'd like me some ice cream now
- #117 Yes, I'm dragging that ice cream joke
- #118 I tried
- #119 Halloween? What's that?
- #120 Chapter 120
- #121 I shouldn't be doing that
- #122 Yeah, fuck it, they're in Rome
- #123 People will get hurt A LOT
- #124 MY FINGERS!
- #125 I only did it for the turkey
- #126 Nau-chi-wha?
- #127 KICK THE BABY
- #128 Weee, vasectomies
- #129 Does this count as a Christmas special?
- #130 I know, it's so lame
- #131 Chapter 131
- #132 The Case of Sir X
- #133 Chapter 133
- #134 I'm just bluffing as I go
- #135 Happy New Year
- #136 Cheese wheels are always the answer
- #137 I love Xun Yu for the wrong reasons
- #138 That rod is a giant Sonic Screwdriver
- #139 OMG IS THERE A CHAP LIMIT?
- #140 Goddamnit, I ship them so hard
- #141 Sometimes I just confuse myself
- #142 Dynasty Warrior-World Problems
- #143 Meh
- #144 Happy New Year AGAIN
- #145 I'll just sit here alone this Feb 14th
- #146 YEA MURICA AND FUCK U ENGLAND
- #147 Chapter 147
- #148 Chapter 148
- #149 Stabby stabby
- #150 Why can't I kill things?
- #151 I kill more people than George RR Martin
- #152 Calm your tits
- #153 Koei better have that rivalry as canon
- #154 I need to stop pulling shonen shit
- #155 I took too many pages out of shonen
- #156 (787 reviews) Jackpot?
- #157 All of the men do not have Adam's apples
- #158 I would eat the Easter Bunny
- #159 Ace Attorney Investigations 2
- #160 Typos can and will be used against you
- #161 Jintama Pilot (April Fool's Chapter)
- #162 Homosexual figure skater
- #163 Totally no homo
- #164 That's what I would do with that power
- #165 (888 reviews) Chinese Jackpot
- #166 When will I run out of parodies to do?
- #167 Someone call 911 this became mecha anime
- #168 I'm REALLY making things up as I go
- #169 Cards That Go Against Humanity
- #170 Chapter 170
- #171 Warriors Megoshogun Z Special Ultimate
- #172 Yay, we're in stuck in Japan again
- #173 Japanese girls like toast
- #174 Thousand Reviews, thousand suns
- #175 The Warlord Assassination Arc
- #176 (
- #177 Can I just call this DWtama or something
- #178 Rated M for everything
- #179 Chapter 179
- #180 Everyone needs a tragic background
- #181 GO PLAY IT
- #182 Dragon Age is taking over my life
- #183 Playing Dragon Age so much
- #184 Sorry, busy playing Dragon Age
- #185 Haha, silly voice actor reference
- #186 RPG games take a lot out of you
- #187 Less money, mo' problems
- #188 This has just become DWtama
- #189 Chapter 189
- #190 I liked the cartoon movie
- #191 Stressed out
- #192 It's like if 4Kids made it
- #193 Replace tie with sash (HappyFather's Day
- #194 Mwahahaha
- #195 Chapter 195
- #196 Full-time adviser, part-time savage
- #197 High-speed carriage sequences
- #198 Transdimension glory holes
- #199 Getting complicated
- #200 (2 X 100)
- #201 Throwing shade at myself
- #202 Chapter 202
- #203 You know the one
- #204 Movie sucks, book's better
- #205 Ends-Ways-Memes
- #206 Chapter 206
- #207 PUNS FOR DAYS
- #208 Chapter 208
- #209 No one here is a role model
- #210 Chinese names are so flexible
- #211 Balls first, evil mage second
- #212 I did not think this through
- #213 Does anyone remember Dynasty Tactics?
- #214 I should have gone with moose, huh?
- #215 FYI, I LOVED Treasure Planet as a kid
- #216 And his name is
- #217 Very Anti-climatic
- #218 Ooh, sex scandals
- #219 Aristo-herpes
- #220 Still fanservice
- #221 Super done
- #222 So complicated
- #223 Women and their sex dungeons
- #224 Record Amount of Uncensored Vulgarities
- #225 Is it flu season yet?
- #226 Jackie
- #227 Snot is the new semen
- #228 2shitty4me ooooooohhhh
- #229 Getting into the sexual department
- #230 High-pitched screaming
- #231 Journey to the Southwest
- #232 Well, that's his soul
- #233 It's over 39,000!
- #234 Chapter 234
- #235 That's me there
- #236 I'm surprised I haven't written gay smut
- #237 OMG U BATMAN
- #238 Oh, it's Christmas already?
- #239 New Year, New Shit
- #240 Still tame compared to earlier chapters
- #241 Nevermind
- #242 Ooh, clash of cultures
- #243 New Fast and Furious Looks Great
- #244 Why am I not surprised?
- #245 Classy penis humor
- #246 Little Brothers are the Worst
- #247 Taking Too Many Liberties With Him
- #248 I'd like some Guo Jia toilet paper
- #249 I don't hate him, for the record
- #250 Chapter 250
- #251 Uncoordinated AF
- #252 Protagonist's Convenience
- #253 Remember, everyone is a potential DILF
- #254 See Return of Cooler for Reference
- #255 null
- #256 Puppets are creepy AF
- #257 One thing after another
- #258 It's always about the penis
- #259 It's not abuse if it's not your child
- #260 Dispose of Maxi Pads Responsibly
- #261 I'm naturally high
- #262 Fling that shit
- #263 Just imagine the ancestors from Mulan
- #264 Cause and Effect
- #265 Poop leads to many things
- #266 Feels Bad Man
- #267 I'm (mentally) twelve years old
- #268 New DW9 characters are just 60's refs
- #269 F the melon
- #270 Chapter 270
- #271 mysticalfantasyscifithrilleradventure
- #272 COCKBLOCKER
- #273 Windows Defender is best antivirus
- #274 I want to take a three month nap
- #275 glitchy glitch
- #276 Just use all of the video game tropes
- #277 Three weeks whoops
- #278 I'd hate being murdered 67 times
- #279 Idk how Ancient restaurants work
- #280 Happy Belated Halloween
- #281 We go into space too often
- #282 Fisting
- #283 Cai Yan and Caiyan are not the same FYI
- #284 Obligatory Saving Christmas Chapter
- #285 Another Year Passes
- #286 It's totally not AC Syndicate
- #287 I didn't even play DW Strikeforce 2
- #288 Yeah it's just Dynasty Ball Z lol
- #289 DamnitYay more characters
- #290 this is just getting more dirtier
- #291 Too bad it's not the Year of the Rabbit
- #292 Cockblock, Save the World
- #293 oh ok spirits are apparently insane then
- #294 squid
- #295 Chapter 295
- #296 Chapter 296
- #297 Not actually the WO4 plot
- #298 What an excuse to cross dress
- #299 Chapter 299
- #300 Rise of an Empire (sucked)
- #301 ow my nipple
- #302 Attempted Patricide
- #303 get aHEAD
- #304 Sawdust Crusaders
- #305 SPOOPY FILLER CHAPTER
- #306 Sawdust Crusaders part 2
- #307 Weed is OP
- #308 Worlds Collide (Literally)
- #309 ALMOST the WO4 plot
- #310 Fanfic of a koei fanfic game
- #311 Rez G
- #312 Happy New Year (Reprise)
- #313 Continuing to ruin Xun Yu's life
- #314 The calm before the storm
- #315 Some calm before some storm?
- #316 Power Escalation of Cheese Wheels