There's a wizarding Russian tradition if you throw a burlap sack over a woman's head and kidnap her, you may keep her as your wife. Hermione thinks this tradition is absolutely bonkers, barbaric and wants no part of it. "I am not going to be your housewife!" Hermione shouted. Dohohov only grinned. "I'm the bad guy, duh. Vhat did you expect, a Disney fairytale ending?" Antomione.

"She said 'please'." "But you should've stayed away." "I couldn't. I couldn't have even planned for this to happen." He saw her in her famous blue raincoat and the shoulder was torn. Bill/Hermione. Affair. Illicit. Angst.

You don't want to bark up the wrong tree, especially if they have a chainsaw, blowtorch and are mad as hell about being locked up for 12 years. Sirius Black in a devilish performance. Very Black comedy, now with Voldemort and Bellatrix head minigolf! (This is a dark reversal of my other story 'The 5 People Snape Meets in Heaven') Chapter 8: Harry receives mysterious package!

Regulus took the mirror because he wanted to speak to his brother. He didn't take it to meet her. But then dark magic is powerful and can transcend even time and death. Regulus/Hermione. Updated daily. M rated ending if requested.

Hermione is married to Draco. So why is she dreaming of his dad? It's all wrong and morally repugnant, except she can't stop her mind, or hands, from wandering to the older wizard. Neither can he. Lumione. Lucius/Hermione. "What shall we say then?" he whispers in her ear. "Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound?"

After a bad breakup with Ron, Sirius is left picking up all the pieces when a brokenhearted Hermione moves into Grimmauld Place. But can she get over the redhead in time to see the black-haired man standing in front of her? Sirius/Hermione.

Take trouble and make it double. When Dr. Hermione J. Granger has to give up her healer's practice and go into quarantine after a bad bout of magical dragon flu has gone around...she doesn't go into quarantine alone. Two redhead Weasley twins are eager to help her and also, well, they might've been the ones responsible for giving her the flu in the first place. Hermione/twins

Hermione keeps taking Lucius Malfoy to court. The older wizard seems oddly complacent and doesn't seem to mind showing up. Though they never do have any evidence against him. So he always walks off a free man. Or is? Is he enslaved by a new obsession? "You're guilty of about 10,000 war crimes," Hermione snarled. "How is it you always walk free?" Lucius grinned, "Watch me." Lumione.

Hogwarts cringe.

Dedicated to cash me outside girl meme. Angelina/Lee drabble. part 2: Hermione Granger beats up Padma Patil, also cash me outside swagger. Padma had it coming, time to get the brass ring knuckles out! CRACKFIC. Warning for violence.

After Voldemort runs off to Cuba and forgets to pack his pet snake Nagini with him, Harry Potter is left taking care of one human snake animagus. But Nagini is nothing like he expected. And she has a lot to learn about the world because after growing up with Voldemort as a father, she doesn't really understand anything about dressing properly or acting normal. Pretty Woman redux.

Sirius writes an advice column for a newspaper. Chapter 1: Thinking Before Speaking Chapter 2: Friendzoned. Chapter 3: bad questions chapter 5: Tonks and Sirius fight for their man Warning: do not read this story, it's utter shit and complete bollocks. chapter 6: I hate my Boss

Brilliant Hermione Granger is a postgrad trying her best to save as many wild plants and animals as possible, including a cute koala she names Winnie the Poop. Neville, a herbology postgrad, also volunteers to help and things get heated from more than just the wicked Australian sun. Written to bring awareness for the Australian wildfires. A Nevmione romcom. Neville/Hermione.

Remus/Tonks/Sirius. She was always changing. She could never make up her mind or heart. Tonks is a mess and so is Sirius. Like Black siblings; orphaned; lost; they took shelter in each other's arms;in this giant house...Things have always been topsy turvy in Grimmauld Place. Flashbacks to Bellatrix.

Theodore Nott stumbles upon Hermione in Diagon Alley and it's a long-time no see twisted reunion of two old classmates who were at opposite ends of the war. Theomione fluff. Manipulative!Theo.

In which Hermione travels back to the past to kill Peter then back to the future to get laid by Sirius. (Or how Sirius would put it while Hermione would protest that actually she was on a "heroic quest" to save his sorry behind and there was no actual intent on her part to shag him, thank you very much) Two-shot.

His Remembrall glowed red for two weeks until he finally realized what he should've done all along When Hermione and Neville work together in herbology labs, suddenly their feelings change or is it just the pollen? Neville/Hermione with marriage. One for the science nerds :)

For his 21st birthday, Luna has a surprise gift. And it's nothing Harry could have ever expected or predicted. Then again, nothing about living with beautiful weirdo Luna Lovegood is ever predictable, is it? Post-war Harry. "Be a freak like me too," Luna whispers in his ear. Story about PTSD, abusive childhood, and letting go. COMPLETE! (But may add ginny/luna/harry bonus chapter)

Sirius was trouble and a bit of an arsehole. But she'd been dating him since Hogwarts and it wasn't fair that Lily got everything, the house, the ring, the marriage and child...while Sirius's idea of romance was giving her a joke-shop ring and calling it a day. AU. Marauder's Era. James/Lily. Sirius/Hermione. Complete, but I may add sequel.

James Potter was everything Hermione had always been trying to avoid in her life. Arrogant. Cruel. A golden boy with a golden snitch in his hands. JamesHermione.