Theo's been obsessed with Pansy since, well, forever. But it's kind of hard to act on this when she's dating a crayon-/diaper-using jerk: Draco Malfoy, of course. And Dumbledore's trying to help Theo... to fall in love with Draco. So... what next?

Hermione Granger's never considered herself a workaholic... she just loves her work. But it's been years since her last vacation, and the ministry's therapists are after her- namely, the new guy: Draco Malfoy. It's easy to fall in love in a labyrinth...

Hermione's always been a bit of a perfectionist, but when someone purposely tries to annoy her by being what she hates the most, how can she not, well, attack him- them? If it's for a good cause? Try and resist it if you can, Hermione...

Hermione's been brainwashed, and Theodore Nott somehow helped to do that, and Voldemort's won the second wizarding war. Will Hermione ever escape her job as Voldemort's personal assistant and defeat him, or is this the end of the world as we know it?

My parents just informed me yesterday of this arranged marriage between me and her, and how we have to have a son for an heir and all that crap, and how I basically would have to dump my girlfriend for some chick I barely knew. Isn't my family just GREAT?

"You really like that cat, don't you?" "He's a fluffy little creature of superior cuteness and intellect," Hermione informed him. "I say he's a fluffy little creature that's plotting world domination as we sleep," Draco answered persistently. "Um...sure."

Enter a world where guys cry and Quidditch teams are all-girl, where Draco writes a diary and Hermione doesn't like to read. How can you fight what's happening when it feels like that's the way you were programmed? Or charmed... Draco/Hermione.

"I went to Hogsmeade and all I got was this lousy quill pen," was what it read. And that's how this whole thing began...

Do YOU love lamp?

You'll just have to read to find out...

By midnight tonight, I'll be engaged. You see, I've got Plan A and Plan B, so that if the first goes bust, I'll always have the second to rely on. And the second one is much less preferable- to him, anyway. Or maybe he'll just ask me... no, probably not.

I wake up, and everything, everyone is covered in deep violet glitter... except me. I know who to blame, and Rose knows who to accuse also, of course. But it's not like I got lipstick stains all over my shirt by myself, right? My point exactly.

I can get through this, I can. I really- No, I can't. I really can't. Why in the world am I on a date with Draco Malfoy when I still think he's a total moron? Oh, right. Theo. But it's not my fault that I love him, it's his! If only he loved me back...

Theo never really expected that his day would be any different than usual: watching Hermione, talking about her to Blaise, thinking of her... until today, when they got stuck together into a bizzare situation that could end in sadness, or the opposite...

It's not like I told him to get drunk. I just kind of dared him into the whole thing. I mean, it was an irresistible opportunity! I was alone in my house, Hermione and Ron and Harry were off somewhere on Diagon Alley... I was bored, okay?

In which Draco gets bored, irriated, angry, and possible even married... "Want to marry me? I don't have a ring, I'm only doing this to annoy people, and I won't be any kinder to you because of it," I said flatly, but honestly. Draco/Hermione, of course.

Gregory peeked his head around the door, just to register what he would have to do to get some of that cake. Except, when he looked, he saw a most beautiful-looking girl. And as he wondered, Luna Lovegood looked up and met his startled gaze. Luna/Goyle.

Inspired by AVPS's Hermione Can't Draw song. Draco and Hermione are in one messed up art class with Dumbledore as professor, when they find out they're the only ones in the class. What hilarites- and romances- will ensue?

"Why didn't you just use your wand?" Hermione asked him breathlessly. "And how did a Red Vine just save my life?" Ron turned around and faced something else with a strange expression on his face. He said, "Red Vines- What the hell can't they do?"

"FEAR ME, FOR I AM THE GREAT SNOWMAN OF HOGWARTS CASTLE!" screamed a familiar voice from behind Lily Evans. She turned to see James Potter wearing a top hat and cape- running straight towards her with his arms outstretched to hug her. What now?