Brendan Chase knows he's a scummy person. He does not appreciate being blamed for the Australian Prime Minister's own corruption and blunders. Time to invite Alex to dinner to expose him. Rating may change.
Alex is suddenly body-swapped with Brendan Chase. What's hilarious is that nobody is noticing the fucking difference for either of them.
Doctor Three starts sending Alex 'Thank you' flowers and signed copies of his most recent books after he kills Razim and The Grimaldi Twins.
In a turn of events, Winston Yu and Alex Rider turn out to be cousins. All sorts of fun ensues. Set after Skeleton Key.
Nile is allergic to cats. The stupid tiger that Mrs. Rothman insisted on getting and then ignored after about a month loves him for some ungodly reason.
Alex gets Bunnicula as a pet. How, you ask? Well, it was a fluffy white rabbit, how much harm could it possibly do?
Alex is finally rescued from his creepy stalker (cough, Yassen keeps following him, cough). Alex has never been more terrified of an old lady with a cane. Major Character Death.
Alex's annual review is coming up again. He has to write a short summary of his achievements for the year. Apparently "feeding a supervillain to alligators" doesn't count - that doesn't seem fair!
Alex Rider has torched many places before but he never deliberately locked the doors and windows until now.
Some organizations have a list of goals. SCORPIA has a copy of the Geneva convention.
Donna Treat has been sent undercover as a supply teacher. Unfortunately she failed chemistry. This is going to be a disaster. Alex can't stop watching.
Can you please do something where Alex deals with an airplane hijacking, but he's annoyed at the fact that it was his flight that got hijacked? [This a fanfiction that parodies airline hijackings with a side of satire. Please read at your own discretion.]
Malagasto gets inspected by the Italian education board for OSHA reasons. How large is the bribe going to have to be?
An electronic remote for the newest supervillian device blows up. Right in front of Alex's salad! He knows that there is no way in hell this guy won't believe it's him.
"Questions surround this week's tragic death of Alex Rider, 14, who plunged to their death from the forty-first floor of the Royal and General Bank today. As the tragic story unfolds, mystery surrounds the decisions..." (A more likely end to the flagpole scene, with Blunt making a massive mess out of the situation). Rated M for Gore. Warning: Major Character Death.
Supervillian blind date where they destroy a city together to see how compatible they are as a couple. Hint: This does not turn out as well as Brendan Chase thought it would.
A suit and a clipboard will get you a lot of places no questions asked. And there are accidents that need to be arranged.
Alex goes to a bar and somehow manages to join a D&D adventure group. Fuck this, fuck them, and fuck his life.
Alex accidentally acquired a fifty foot fire breathing snake named "Rainbow" that he set loose in a jungle. Suddenly, Rainbow decides to find him while he's at Malagasto.
"If you're calling to make death threats, please press 1. If you're calling to threaten my family, please press 2. If you need my address to send a letterbomb, press 3. For anything else, press 4 and leave a message after the tone." Alex has always given out his number to anyone that asks for it - terrorist, criminal, colleague, or random stranger. His life through voicemail.