J K Rowling owns all the rights to the books and the amazing characters she created. I write only to satisfy my imagination and use my creativity and make no money from my writings.
NOTE: A sincere thank you to Diddleymaz who informed me of the rankings in the RAF.
Chapter 5 – Winning But Losing
"I wonder what the prize is for offing Umbridge?" Lavender asked.
"It better be something good" said Ron, stuffing his face as usual. "I intend on winning it. It's about time I had some good luck."
Actually batting her eyelashes at the clueless eater she asked "Since the suggestions were due by last night, we can tell what our ideas were. I voted that she be 'kittened to death'* she stated proudly."
"You big cheater" yelled Parvati at her best friend. "That was my idea, so you must have copied it when I was taking a shower."
"What do you mean by 'kittened to death'?" Colin Creevey asked.
"Thousands of hungry kittens are dropped on her and she is scratched and then eaten to death" Lavender replied.
"Ah…some of us are trying to eat breakfast" snapped Hermione. Her ideas were much better than theirs and since it wasn't specified that you could only enter once, Hermione had entered ten times. However, she did mark the best one as the as her No. 1 entry.
"Well I said the Toad should be eaten – slowly - by the Acromantula colony" Ron said shoving half a pastry down his gullet.
"And would you be monitoring the colony Ronald…to make sure the hungry hoard of crazed creatures took their time and shared?" Hermione asked. She didn't understand his answer as by then he had inhaled the rest of the pastry and two sausages while reaching for a heavily buttered and jam-filled piece of toast.
It was then that Salazar approached the dais, his voice already sonorized. He called for attention to announce the winner.
"I must admit there were many…interesting…suggestions. In fact, a few of the judges were – what was said?" Sal asked Flitwick.
"They were gagging like a maggot."
"Thank you Filius."
"Now I must admit that the winner's suggestion was…not exactly interesting. In fact, I am surprised by the…bloodthirstiness and the violence suggested by a mere schoolgirl."
Damn, thought the males who had entered the contest. Apparently a girl had won, probably a Slytherin.
"I will confess that I have seen many horrible things in my life. I fought in many battles and/or came upon fields of war where limbs, heads, innards, bones broken in half with the marrow showing, brains and blood mingled with those of dead animals and the smell of death permeating the air for days. I have seen curses and hexes so vile that I did my best to kill the user and destroy all knowledge of them."
"Worse of all, I had to endure Godric's horrendous table manners – or rather lack of them – his belching and wind breaking, during meals no less and, just so you know, Helga started the saying to describe any disgusting or poisonous smell as "worse than a Gryffindor's fart."
That got a round of laughter from the other three houses but only a polite hee-hee from Gryffindor as apparently ALL the Weasleys (except for Percy but even Ginny) could clear a room in mere seconds. Ron was also not the only Gryff with bad manners, table or otherwise.
"So who won?" demanded Draco Malfoy.
"Ah yes…who won" Sal said, drawing out the suspense. "Remember, the person who won MUST oversee the execution personally or otherwise…."
"Just tell us who won and can others witness the execution?" Ron screamed out. Some of the food he had been chewing on fell out of his mouth as he said it.
"Be quiet boy or you will be experiencing the runner-up execution – which by the way, was another entry of the winner."
Since the students were getting antsy, and Sal had much to do that day, he announced the winner.
"The winner is Gryffindor Hermione Granger."
An intake of breath of the student body was heard in unison and then the shouting started. Ron and Draco were the most vocal (and angriest) with Draco demanding a recount. Sal responded by sending very large and impressive sparks from his wand and commanding silence. The complaints stopped, but this gave Hermione her chance to insist of getting her prize.
"As my reward I claim full answers to the following: (1) Prove that you are Salazar Slytherin; (2) What gives you the right to steal Hogwarts and its inhabitants from its sacred space; (3) Where are we; (4) Where is Professor McGonagall and why wasn't Headmaster Dumbledore brought here? – Is he dead; (5) When are we going back to Scotland and…."
Naturally, she asked her questions at a rapid fire pace without giving a pause for Sal to answer, or at least did until he silenced her.
"First of all" he said "It was a prize to be determined – by me – AND you must oversee the entire execution to obtain the prize or you forfeit the prize."
"But that's not fair" the girl whined.
"Those are the rules. I have heard that you blindly follow the rules no matter how distasteful or illogical they are?" Sal asked.
But since a prize was a prize, Hermione agreed to it. Draco, Ron, the Twins and a few others DEMANDED to be allowed to witness the execution and were actually granted their wish – with a requirement. Once they were there they could not leave until it was done. Thinking "How bad could an idea by a Gryffindor girl (and a Mudblood) be?" They would soon find out.
In the end, 30 other students followed the original ten and out they went to the place of punishment as Sal termed it. A few of the teachers were forced to act as witnesses and Poppy Pomfrey was on hand to care for the foolish students who would witness the hated (and hateful) Umbridge get her just punishment.
So began the ghastly execution of Delores Umbridge.** It didn't last very long as she could dish it out but couldn't take it as the saying goes and too many students were gagging, vomiting, fainting, screaming and being stunned trying to escape the horror. After a mere fifteen minutes, Sal decided to put the evil toad out of her misery – as well as his because although he could stand seeing the torture (since he was the one doing it), all of the antics of the students was…disturbing. Tried, true and vicious warrior he had always been, didn't mean he had liked it. It was the purging done by the students that got to him and he feared vomiting in front of all those present.
Hermione had been one of the first to faint, followed by Draco Malfoy (when he heard from Snape what the entire sentence consisted of. Even the Twins lost their breakfast as did Ron who lost…other bodily fluids. Ginny lasted longer than expected. Snape wondered if the girl was taking mental notes for future reference and shuttered at the thought.
Classes had to be cancelled for the day as Sal realized nothing would be accomplished, especially after those students who didn't attend asked what the punishment was and were told in graphic detail. Poor Draco was one of those who stayed in the Infirmary until being released the next morning for breakfast. The Twins had recovered enough to gleefully recount the Slytherin's cowardly behavior and Malfoy would never live it down. Fortunately for him, Crabbe and Goyle remained conscious and told him of the Twins' behavior, so when he had the chance, he would use it as ammunition against them.
It was several hours later when lying in his Infirmary bed that Draco realized that Potter hadn't been there. In fact, now that he thought about it, he hadn't seen Potter and Longbottom since the school had been transported to the block of ice where they now lived.
Perhaps all was not lost as Salazar probably refused to allow them to attend his school, but then why were Mudbloods and Blood Traitors here? If nothing else Longbottom was a Pure-blood and even Potty was a Half-blood. Maybe they were dead due to prolonged detentions outside. Longbottom was easy to misplace and forget about and Potty probably did something more stupid than usual. Maybe they were turned into Smurfs – a Muggle fantasy character that was blue in color and which he had recently heard about from Mudbloods residing in the Infirmary after their blue-inducing detention.
In any event, he would worry about it later. He was comforted by the fact that at least his father wouldn't hear of his embarrassing behavior – he hoped.
Only one person did not know about Umbridge's fate. Minerva McGonagall had been imprisoned in her quarters for almost all of the time that Hogwarts had been "kidnapped" by persons unknown. She had her books and personal possessions, her food was delivered in the way it always was in the great hall and her laundry was done. But she had had no contact with any living being for who knew how long.
She was in solitary confinement but at least had her comforts. However, much like Hermione Granger, she wanted – no needed – answers to the many questions she had. In a way, it was a form of torture for her not to know the reasons why Hogwarts and all its inhabitants were…taken…and who had done it with such efficiency. She had never officially met Salazar and the other strangers who had escorted her not too gently back to her quarters.
She had awakened, washed and dressed and made her way to the great hall for breakfast only to notice that "she was not in Kansas anymore," a quote from one of her favorite childhood books and the film she had seen in her younger years. The rest of the staff and the few students who had meandered to the great hall were just as confused as she had been.
"Professor McGonagall" the Head Girl frantically said "There is snow everywhere, icy frozen, dangerous, frigid snow and no sign of Hogsmeade or the Forbidden Forest or anything."
"There are polar bears roaming about" Justin Finch-Fletchley added. He was in the habit of rising early to do a bit of jogging and other exercises to stay in shape. He had tried a door, which wouldn't open, then looked out one of the now heavily frosted windows, used his wand to defrost it and saw three bears (apparently a mother and two cubs). He had ran to the quarters of his Head of House to ask if he was dreaming, hallucinating or going crazy. "If you are then I am too" Sprout had replied after following to the door he had tried to exit.
Since no one knew what had happened, those starting to stir also started to panic as there were no answers to their questions - at least until some strangers appeared and ordered everyone back to their Houses and staying there where breakfast would be served. Several house elves went to each House to enforce compliance. The staff were to report to the staff room for a mandatory meeting.
Minerva had complied but upon reaching the staff room, she was stunned and woke up in her quarters without answers and knowing nothing about what was happening. Her windows had been painted white so that light could enter but she couldn't look out. Everything screamed that something disastrous had happened but if seemed that she was not to know anything.
She had lost count of the days in her isolation. She spent her time catching up on her reading especially those which involved Transfiguration, which she hadn't had time to read let alone write comments to the editor or do any writing herself. Albus had kept her much too busy "assisting him" which meant doing a lot of his paperwork and other boring jobs he had as Headmaster, Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot and the various other boards he sat on.
Thus, she hadn't published anything in – she forgot how long. Some of her peers probably thought she was dead. If nothing else, she was getting a lot done and it helped take her mind off the situation.
But on this "memorable day in the history of Hogwarts" Minnie received a shock. Her door opened and in walked two women. They stared at her and she stared back until the shorter one asked "Don't you know who I am?"
"No. Should I?"
The taller woman rolled her eyes and stated "I told you so. She considers you a Muggle and thus not important or worthy of notice. She probably didn't look at you twice even when she escorted you, your husband and your magical daughter to Diagon Alley. She ignored you and your husband's questions or gave short answers which didn't really tell you anything. All you two were good for was paying the outrageous extra tuition fees which Muggleborns are charged as well as buying all the new magical books and supplies each year. If she considers you anything at all it is a walking checkbook."
There was silence for a few moments while the three women stared and glared at one another. Then Minnie broke the uncomfortable silence by asking "You have a magical daughter – what is her name?"
"Don't you want to know my name?"
Minnie sighed in annoyance before replying "If you tell me your daughter's name, I will then know yours."
"It isn't that simple" the taller woman said. "To the Muggle World, she is known as her daughter's mother. Had she not been…robbed of her magic by Dumbledamnit…you might remember her as Evelyn Rowena with the last name of…well you know the name as you once shared it."
Minnie turned paler than an albino vampire. It couldn't be – it just couldn't. Albus had never met Evelyn as she had died of SIDS*** at the tender age of 98 days. Besides, Albus would never steal magic from anybody! Well maybe from a Death Eater or their offspring if it would be for the greater good, but since it was dark magic he definitely wouldn't do it. He just wouldn't.
Now that she looked closer at the shorter witch, she did bear a slight resemblance to Minnie's own mother and had their dark green eyes and dark hair. Then she looked at the taller witch as she too had green eyes - the exact color of Lily Evans and Harry Potter. The witch gave a slight smile (and a slight smirk) so probably knew what Minnie was thinking.
Minnie's mind and long hid emotions warred with each other and she did the only thing possible in the situation. She fainted and hit the stone floor with a loud thud and knew nothing else for a very long time.
*One of the reviewers suggested Umbitch be executed by kittens but who knows what would happen to the kitties as I consider DU pure poison and I wouldn't do that to innocent baby cats.
**I won't describe the winning execution as I want you to use your imagination and think of the most disgusting, horrific and painful death you can.
***Sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) is the unexplained death, usually during sleep, of a seemingly healthy baby less than a year old. SIDS is sometimes known as crib death because the infants often die in their cribs.