AN: Thank you all for the support! It is very deeply appreciated!
Why does drinking lead to hangovers?
Ron snarled as he trudged into the kitchen, hands cradling his head.
Why can't I get as drunk as I want with no consequences? Why is life so unfair?
He groaned. The last thing he could handle right now was mini-Molly and her screeching.
"I am sure he'll be home very soon," Audrey answered, though from the tone of her voice it was clear she did not miss her husband in the slightest.
"He needs to come soon!" Molly whined. "He's supposed to take me to Hogwarts."
"Honey I don't know if it's wise to return to Hogwarts."
"Yes it is!"
"I don't know how welcome you'd be."
"I think I'd be very welcome there with Daddy."
Audrey took a deep breath.
"Daddy promised me that I could go with him to make reforms in the school."
"I'm supposed to march through the halls with him and watch him fire Headmaster Longbottom and Rose." She rubbed her hands together and sneered. "I wonder if Rose will cry when she's fired. I hope she cries so hard she chokes!"
Ron opened a drawer and frowned. "Where's the hangover potion?"
"I think you took the last one," Audrey answered as Lucy skipped in.
"Shit," Ron groaned.
"Mummy, where's Daddy?" Lucy asked.
"I don't know," Audrey replied, her voice conveying more annoyance than concern.
"Can you go pick me up a sober up potion?" Ron whined.
"I can later."
"No, I need it now!"
"I can't do it right now. I need to get the girls to school."
"But it's my mansion! You have to do what I say."
"No, I don't," Audrey growled.
"Mummy, I want to stay here until Daddy comes."
"No, the school bus will be here soon."
"But I'm supposed to go to Hogwarts and see Professor Rose getting fired!"
"Are there any pop tarts left?" Lucy cut in.
"They should be in the upper right cupboard nearest the door," her mother answered.
"Thanks." Lucy skipped towards them.
"I want to go to Hogwarts!"
Ron covered his ears. Why must his niece scream every other word?
His eyes grew.
"Ron, are you there?"
Ron's lips curled up. Finally, someone who could brew him a sober up potion!
"We cannot wait on your dad to appear. You need to go to school."
"But I don't like going to school," Molly complained. "Everyone speaks Spanish, and I find everything they teach so boring!"
Ron raised his head as he plodded to the sitting room.
"Ron? Are you there?"
"I'm right here!" He called.
"Excellent! I was afraid you were not home at first. I did not know which casino call in order to find you."
Ron peered into the fireplace and grinned as wide as his throbbing head would allow him to. "Hello Rose, what can I do for you?"
"First of all, I seek your forgiveness," she lowered her eyes. "I was quite horrid to you earlier, a fact I am now well aware of."
"I don't know," Ron drawled. "You said some awful things to me."
"I know I did," Rose returned her ashen gaze to him. "You must understand though, I was being horribly threatened."
"Yes," she swallowed. "I was in fear of my life the entire time we spoke. If I did not pretend to hate you, then Mum and Dad, or should I say Hermione and Severus, promised to do me harm."
Ron's eyes grew. "What did they say they would do?"
"First they said they would cut me out of the inheritance."
"They would what?"
"You heard me. They threatened to cut me off from my rightful inheritance and give everything to their biological children who, I quote, 'we have always loved more than you.'"
"Oh that's terrible!"
"It gets worse."
Rose sniffed. "When I told them you were in need of assistance, they told me that if I so much as considered giving you a knut, they would make sure I lived to regret it."
"I do not know. I pleaded with them to tell me what was meant, but all they said was that Severus was a Death Eater and that he would find a way to make me suffer if I so much as considered aiding you."
Ron's throat constricted. "That's so awful."
"It is," A tear fell from Rose's eye. "They said that they were glad the truth about me came out because they were tired of pretending to care for me. It turns out they love me as much as they love exploding cauldrons."
"I am so sorry about that."
"It is so horrid. I just found out they were in the process of writing me out of the will despite them promising not to do so."
"Thankfully they are incarcerated, so they are no longer an issue for me."
He cocked his head. "Why were they arrested?"
"Apparently while in an amnesiac state, Severus persuaded Hermione to fight a group of aurors because he wanted to prove he was still more powerful than all of them combined. Hermione agreed because she is deranged."
"Several aurors were badly injured, but my so called parents were laughing about it all the way to Azkaban."
"Sadly, they will probably pay their way out of it. They'll be on the streets in no time"
"No, Percy has promised to prosecute them to the fullest extent of the law."
"How can Percy prosecute them unless…" Ron's eyes lit up.
Rose smiled. "Indeed, he won by a landslide."
Rose gritted her teeth, but did not stop smiling.
Molly pushed Ron aside. "Is it true that Dad won the election?"
"Yes, it is indeed true."
"Great! You're going to be fired!"
"Yes, you won't teach at Hogwarts anymore, and nobody will ever hire you again!" Molly clasped her hands. "This is the happiest day of my life."
"Molly," Audrey pulled her away. "Let's finish getting ready for school."
"But I want to see everyone get fired!"
"I'm sure if you aren't there in person Dad will show you the memories."
"They aren't the same as seeing it myself," Molly pouted.
"I know dear, I know."
"Well," Rose huffed. "I had little clue that my job was in jeopardy."
"Oh don't worry," Ron waved his hand. "Percy won't fire you. I won't let him. after all, you are my daughter."
"I appreciate your concern and assistance very much," Rose glanced to her side. "I wanted to give you this as well."
"What is it?"
Rose pulled out a document. "Ronald Weasley, I am pleased to present to you, your acquittal forms!"
Ron gasped and grabbed it from her hands. He tore open the seal. His mouth was agape as he read it. "It's true. I can go home. I can finally come home!"
"Indeed you can."
"I…I can go home!" He leapt into the air. "I can go home! I can go home!"
Ron squinted and held his head in his hand. "Ugh, dumb hangover."
"Oh you're hungover?"
"Yeah," Ron nodded.
"Here, do you want a hangover potion?"
"If you could please."
"I should have one in my stores except." Her eyes grew. "You can help me pick one up."
"Yes, why not? Severus and Hermione are in Azkaban where they belong, Percy has pardoned you, and your family is eager to see you again. It is the perfect time for you to return."
"I guess so but," Ron scratched his stubble. "It just seems that I should return in triumph, not for a potion."
"Very true. We should plan your triumphant entry," Rose replied.
"Yes, you should give me my potion and come here."
"No, you need to plan it in my quarters where I have easy access to my financial records."
His heart races at those last two words.
"I want to throw you the party you deserve! Everyone should know exactly the kind of man you are when you return to the spotlight in Britain."
"It will be amazing. I will spend lavishly on a parade and a huge party, the likes of which Wizarding Britain has never seen."
"Yeah, you could do that, couldn't you?"
"Yes, I could."
Ron could almost see all the big chested women throwing themselves at him. Just as he dreamed, he would be in a white horse drawn carriage waving to all his adoring fans. He could hear the whoops and cheers of the crowded street, all the way to the nearest casino, where of course he would make a fortune off of card games.
"What do you say? Will you join me in Britain and take your rightful place in Wizarding British society?"
"Oh hell yes!"
Rose stepped back as Ron jumped into the fireplace. He did not bother to dust himself off as he ran to his couch. "Okay, so I was thinking we could have the parade next Saturday."
"I was thinking we could have it today actually," She put her hand into her pants pocket.
"Uh, that isn't much time to prepare."
She aimed her wand at his heart. "Stupify!"
He went rigid and crashed to the floor.
She strutted to the door and flung it open. "He is right here, as promised."
"Wow," one auror began. "It's taken us years to get this guy, yet it only took you a few days."
"How did you do it?" Another asked.
"Let's just say I am the Head of the Slytherin House for a reason."
Two aurors raised Ron and carried him towards the door.
"One more thing, if you please."
Rose locked eyes with the red head. "I will always be Severus Snape's daughter. It would serve you well to never forget that."
Ron stared at her.
"Please escort him from the premises. I have sixth years coming in a half hour."
With that, Ron Weasley was removed from Rose Snape's sight.