Elusion

Chapter 77

Thanks, a looooooot to everyone who is following this story. My gratitude to all you guys that favourited it. My special thanks to everyone who reviews my chapter especially Vladimir Mithrander, Prosepina, potimarron, 1BrownEyedGirl1, Fangtasia, pam16, The Devil Itself, Urg, S, yukino89, Bubzchoc, LetMagicTakeControl, Rebecca-Mikaelson, HeartsGlow, LetMagicTakeControl, reader, Irie27, Poule trotteuse, Crystal Aquafina, Okamikiiri, I open at the close 2013, IchigoRenji, T-TrainOrTurkeyT, xxqueenofbookjunglexx, FoxKat, NyxDragonBorne, Millie072, Kat2089, Mad-eye-93, redslovelyangel, acherongoddess, Charliee Keely Warmer, TeamTony, S-Lioness, OverlordSnuggie, Ariella, Kat2089, monstermadcat, Laurie24, Clearhorse, ankoku696, Lady Icicle, harukatana, Dvasia, anonymous, Yami, Enjali, OnlyRoyalBlue, Yuuki Heartfilia-Dragneel, mayawene, Dracfirewolves, Millie, As Darkness Takes Over, hazelfaerie, Addictedforevermore, PinkMusicalCherry, Noname, HaniShin, EvilAngelofHeavenandHell, yifthio, Ilena Petrova, Bella4evr3, Iya white, Alcora, Cinthya, mithrilandtj, mizzrazz72, kk, Reader-anonymous-writer, IrisTurner, Kits and Kats, Stormglass, geekymom, Akatsuki Uchiha fangirl, lili974WOLF, CrazyJanaCat, h0wlingw0lf, bad news gurl, Stacey's Universe, Shadoween, XoverQueen, Mary D. Black2000, Procrasty, Riddle reddi, nero1493, Klover Parker, FanWarrior16, Jashinistgirl1, SlytherdorAnna, Arya-Tsk, Gurgaraneth, FallenAngells and particularly the guests.

Darkness lurked just at the edges of his vision and he couldn't shake it off no matter how hard he tried. Nicholai gripped his wrist and dragged him out of the hall despite his protests. He pushed him into a room and everything went black for a moment. When his sight returned, Nicholai was holding him up and the sword was laying on the floor. Harry tried to push him away but his limbs felt too unresponsive,

"You need to rest."

Harry coughed and covered his mouth with his hands. He made another feeble attempt to push Nicholai away and was once again met by failure,

"Let me go."

Nicholai tsked,

"No. I am responsible for you as long as you suffer from the weakness that I caused you."

Harry laughed weakly and felt his knees soften. Nicholai's grip tightened on him and he spoke,

"You're responsible for me now? You should have thought of this before you sucked me dry."

He coughed again. Damn it, he didn't need this. Not now…Not in front of bloody Nicholai. He finally succeeded in shoving Nicholai away and collapsed on his knees. His hands balled into fists as everything swam in and out of focus. Tears burned at the corner of his eyes and it was taking him all his strength to hold them back,

"Leave me alone."

Something inside him felt very very wrong and he was about to reach for the sword when Nicholai dragged him up to his feet and supported him,

"I shall leave you alone as soon as you have recovered from the blood loss."

Harry wanted to stamp his feet, he wanted to shout…scream…He wanted to cry…

"I am taking you with me."

Harry looked up at him and met his aquamarine gaze sternly,

"What the hell?"

He was about to push him away when Nicholai grabbed him hard around the waist,

"I did not ask you for your permission. I am merely informing you."

Harry tried to get free…he fought with all his remaining strength but it was all for nought and he slumped forward against Nicholai,

"Would you have preferred it if you had blacked out in the ballroom when you had managed to successfully intimidate everyone?"

He hated this…hated feeling so weak…He had to be with Rabastan. He needed to make preparations for his funeral…Rabastan was gone…really gone…Why did it feel like he was having a nightmare and any moment now, he would wake up between Voldemort and Rabastan. The tears threatened to break free and he pushed them back. This wasn't a nightmare. It was all real. This was really happening,

"I shall bring you to the funeral."

Harry had no hope of fighting Nicholai when he knew he was seconds away from passing out. And Nicholai was right. If he passed out here then Voldemort and all his bloody death eaters would know that he wasn't as strong as he had led them to believe,

"I don't trust you."

Nicholai chuckled darkly,

"You do not have a choice."

Harry looked down at the floor and spoke,

"My sword."

Harry's vision darkened once again and when it returned he found himself in a extravagantly decorated bedroom. The curtains were a thick red velvet that hung in generous folds around the mullioned windows and were lined with thick cotton of deepest plum. Nicholai laid him down on the bed and caressed his cheek, his other hand sinfully roaming over his body,

"Go to sleep, sweetheart."

Harry would have gritted his teeth and shoved Nicholai away if he'd had the strength but he didn't. Every nerve in his body screamed that he was in trouble. He looked around but couldn't locate the sword,

"My…my sword."

Nicholai's laughter was the last thing he heard before he passed out.

He sat back in a chair and stared at the ceiling blankly. He could never have imagined that Rabastan's death would cause him so much pain. The aching hollow sensation in his chest would not subside no matter how hard he tried. He had never felt anything like this before. The pain was so unfamiliar…so gut wrenching yet it didn't feel wrong. It felt necessary. The memories played on the forefront of his mind and he bit back a cry. A few stray tears streamed down his cheeks and he wiped them away. The awful hollowness, the waves of wretchedness threatened to engulf his mind, body and soul.

He had never experienced grief until now. It felt like an emptiness in his heart, a shear of nothingness that had somehow taken over and held his already shattered soul and threatened to kill him entirely. It gave him a heavy feeling that like the weight of the world was resting on his shoulders and there was nothing he could do to get out from under it. It was like a hole in his heart…a hole where Rabastan had just begun to reside.

Sadness. Something he had never understood. Why be sad of something which had already happened? After all, there had never been any point in crying over spilled milk. He had never hesitated in taking a life…never stopped to think about how his actions had affected others…he had never felt remorse… But now, now that he was feeling it, it was like being stabbed in the heart a thousand times without dying. Why was he feeling this now? The only possible explanation was that it was the memories that created emotions and it was the emotions that create those memories. His memories of Rabastan were so vivid…so full of life that it was hard to imagine that he was really gone. He could still taste him on his lips.

He leaned back in his chair and sighed. Love and sorrow, the twins...He should have known this would happen when he had realized his love for Harry last night. Love without sorrow was not love at all and was that not the reason why he had resented it…why he had so openly despised it…ridiculed it…Love came first, sweet and strong and weakened people and then sorrow came forward and broke them down. It was bitter irony that he had been subdued by them now. The loss felt more than his heart could take. Rabastan was like a shadow lingering in the depths of his mind. It was a strange thing to lose something which you once had, like a limb torn from your body without the chance to save it. That was what he felt now. He hadn't just lost Rabastan today, he had lost Harry as well. The blame had been so obvious in his eyes and it was there rightfully so. He should have killed Bella when Harry had asked him to…or he should have let him kill her. This would not have happened if he had just listened to Harry…He was certain that Harry would never forgive him. Rabastan's blood was on his hands.

That was why he had stood by and watched Harry mask his grief with his anger and explode in a fit or rage. He had felt so dissolved in the kind of despair that had taken his mind prisoner when Harry had thrust Rabastan's lifeless form in his arms, otherwise he would have killed and tortured that whore himself.

He looked down at his hands. He might have forgone the blood of the countless innocents he had slaughtered but Rabastan's blood would never leave his hands. The grief surged with every expelled breath, it reached higher peaks. Tears began to spill from his eyes and he could no longer hold them back.

Nicholai had informed him of Harry's breakdown two hours ago. He was relieved that he had taken him away. It would have hurt him further if he had stayed here. He would have only hated him more the longer he had stayed here. He had no doubt that Harry would have erased most of the pureblood families if he had stayed a minute longer in that hall. He was worried about him… in fact, he was more than worried. Harry had grown suicidal after his Godfather's death. How would Rabastan's death affect him in the long run? He closed his eyes and wiped away the tears. What had he been reduced to? This was all Harry's doing. He shouldn't have fallen in love with him. He shouldn't want him…Harry was more unattainable now than he had ever been and he should give him up as a lost cause.

He knew he was a fool to keep yearning for Harry's love…his heart… But nothing could erase that yearning…nothing could ever diminish the love he felt for him. So, he would gladly be a fool and feel pride in it. He would be a fool for his love anytime, anyplace, anywhere and no matter how much time it took, he would have Harry in the end…He would have him no matter what.

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