Cauldrons and Lilies

Chapter 21

I don't own anything really.

Thank you all for your reviews and support.

Not a lot of you like Lily and James together. Well I don't like them either maybe that was why I cannot fashion them any time of context for that relationship. In hindsight a little more explanation as to Lily's motivations would have been welcomed. I just took it as a given that they would be together. In this story Lily is immature and selfish. In the books JK describes her as a mature young woman who is able to see past James's failures but at the same time cannot forgive Severus for insulting her. I was trying to picture her as an irrational being because she is. She forgave years of abuse inflicted to his supposed best friend. She married him and forgot about her friend. In this story Lily is closer and corresponds Severus's feelings but he pushes her to James, time and time again. She then does not see any problem with her dating James. In her own way she asks for permission when she and Severus meet in the empty corridors and he does not react in any way. Lily takes this as acceptance and discourages her from pursuing him. Why James? Well who else? Remus and Sirius are James's friends and will not approach her. I could have had an OC placed in but it would have achieved the same results. In Severus mindset Lily and James have to have Harry for the prophecy to work. It does not occur to him that Neville could be the chosen one.

Why does Severus believe that Harry has to exist? He's seen the future and cannot see anyone defeat Voldemort but for Harry. He's seen the future and has been brainwashed by Albus to believe that only Harry could defeat Voldemort. Given the choice anyone could have but it was Harry ultimately. He believes Lily given the choices will choose James again and again because he does not feel that Lily would ever choose him. Lily in cannon and in this story is the person who he loves the most. He is willing to sacrifice because of guilt but also because of love. He is in love with her, infatuated with her. He idolized her for twenty years and then has the chance to love her again. He jumped to the opportunity. He is grateful enough that they are friends. Severus has very low self-esteem and so does Lily for that matter. He now can love this girl, he knows Lily loves him but he does not know that he is the right choice for her. Lily on the other hand is waiting and taking a rather passive stance. Once again Lily thought that being with James would tempt Severus to do something but he didn't. She stayed with James because she waited for a reaction out of Severus.

Marlene's presence shook her. Never had she thought that Severus would be with someone else. She understands that Severus has options and feels threatened by those options. She is jealous and afraid of being alone so James served as her crutch.

I'm trying to give a little context .

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Chapter 21

Lily ran to her home. Severus held her back. She tried to get in but he held her tight. "Stop Lils. Please stop. Let's go to my home. Mum must know something. They bypassed the house and ran to Severu's home. Her heart leapt when Severus whispered "No," To Lily the place looked perfectly fine and then she came closer and saw the blasted door. He pulled her hand and they entered the house. She gasped. It had been ransacked. Lily felt her heart in her throat. She heard Gussie cry and she went upstairs to his room. He was crying hard. She picked him up and came downstairs again. Severus was by his parents. They were on the floor. Lily turned Gussie around. She cast a sleeping charm on him.

She put him on the couch and went by Severus's side. He muttered something under his breath over his mum. She worked on Tobias who was bleeding from the mouth. She stopped the bleeding and checked his vitals. It was all she could do before they got to St. Mungos.

"Mum, wake up, mum." Severus said as he shook her. He cried, big fat tears.

She saw Eileen Snape's unseeing eyes and pulled Severus up. "She's dead Sev. We have to get your dad to St. Mungos." The words tumbled out of her mouth. She was going to be sick soon.

Severus dropped and held his mum and cried. Lily cried too because of Eileen but also because she was the Secret Keeper and if she was dead it meant her parents were dead too. Tobias was alive and so was Gussie. They needed to get them to the magical hospital.

"Severus your dad can die. We have to go. This place is dangerous." She picked the baby and held his hand. Severus held Tobias's hand and they apparated to St. Mungos emergency room.

She looked for the mediwizard in turn and found Leann Waters, her mentor. "Evans, what do you have for me?"

"Muggle male, forty eight years old. Blow to the head. I think he was cursed." She rushed Tobias into another room. Severus held Gussie and then looked at her. "Your parents are dead."

Lily nodded. "I think so too." She cried and then hugged him.

"I have to go back. I have to protect the house. Get mum's body covered find out about your parents…" Severus put on a cold face and left her with his baby brother.

Augustus woke up and then fell asleep again after she gave him a bottle a nurse gave her. He was too big to be drinking formula but she figured she would not deny him this. This baby would never meet his mum. She cried for her own mum and dad. They were planning to travel. They wanted to go to France and Spain. She cried more and hugged Gussie to her. She would have to call Petunia to tell her the news. She shuddered; her sister would blame her of course because it was her fault. She had put her family in danger.

Severus came back forty-five minutes later and interrupter her dark thoughts. His eyes were red and he looked older, tired. He sat down next to her and took Gussie from her. "I talked to the firefighters. "They found two bodies; your parents died of the killing curse like mum. Death Eaters must have set the fiendyfire afterwards. I extinguished it. I know what you are thinking. If only we had apparated I thought the same but they were killed before we even boarded the train. The neighbors said the house had been burning since early in the afternoon." He said defeated.

"What happens now?" She asked despondently. Severus rubbed his eyes. "I have to meet Dumbledore he knows about these things I don't. I covered mum and recovered your parent's bodies they are in my house. How is my dad doing?" He asked. It was the first time he called Tobias dad since he was twelve.

"Nothing yet." Lily said. She felt guilty, she should have paid more attention and tried to find a mediwitch or mediwizard.

They stayed there, sitting in that cold room for two hours until her mentor came back. "Evans, the muggle you brought is fine. I have been looking for any curses and could only find a cutting curse and sleeping curse placed on him. He's awake and disoriented." Severus stood up. He followed the witch. He looked back at her and she shook her head, "I have to call Tuney." She left the magical hospital through the regular entrance and made the phone call.

"Hello, Dursley residence." Her elder sister chirped. Lily held back tears.

"Tuney." She said with a broken voice.

"Oh it's you. How did you get this number? I told mother she shouldn't give it to you." Lily waved the hurtful words away. She deserved to get hurt. Her parents were dead because of her.

"Tuney, listen I have to see you I have something to tell you."

"Lily, I'm rather busy. Vernon will be home any moment now." Petunia babbled. Lily knew she would lose her attention soon.

She hung up and apparated. She thanked mum for giving her the address last week. "Just in case." She had said.

Petunia still held the phone. "You can't do that." She shrieked and ranted about freaks and violation of privacy even the police.

Lily could not take it anymore. "Mum and dad are dead." She cried. Her big sister shook her head. "How?"

She did not want Tuney to hate her. She did not but she felt that sensation of fear, she feared her reaction because Tuney hated her already. Lily had to come out and tell her the truth.

"Death Eaters, the people who hate people like me who come from normal people. They killed them and then set the house of fire." Her voice sounded foreign to her ears.

Petunia reacted as expected she cried and blamed her. "You killed them. You freak." She yelled.

"I'm sorry Tuney." She apologized because it did not matter how many times Severus assured her that it was not her fault it would always be.

Her sister insulted her and bawled but calmed down eventually when Dursley entered the house. She did not tell him that her parents died because of death eaters. The muggle looked sad for her sister but immediately asked if her parents had left a will. Petunia looked puzzled but Lily was enraged and spoke forcefully. "I have to go."

Petunia's watery blue eyes looked at her, "What are we going to do?"

"Severus will take care of things. I will come and pick you up as soon as I know. Mrs. Snape is dead too." She said as she disapparated.

Lily stumbled back into the hospital. She was pleasantly surprised to see the Headmaster. "Sir."

"Lily, dear child. You must be very brave now." The older man said with a sad tone. She nodded but remained stoic. She had no more tears tonight.

"I have arranged everything for you and Severus. You and his family will be staying with Arthur Weasley for the time being. The Burrow is the safest place for you now. She nodded. "Your parents will be buried tomorrow if you don't have any objections. Is there anyone who would like to be in the funeral?"

Lily shook her head. "No, no one important." They had nobody. Nana died last year and they had no more family or any real friends. Her parents had always been content with just each other.

"Would you like me to call your fiancée? He is in the Ministry." Lily shook her head. She did not want to see James. He would want to comfort her and hold her. The last thing she wanted was to be held by James. She wanted Severus. Only Sev could understand, her oldest and best friend. Her love.

Severus entered the sterile room in St. Mungos. Augustus was heavy in his arms. His baby brother was asleep. He would never know mum. His father was on the standard issue hospital bed. The man had his eyes closed. He approached the bed and sat by him with the baby on his arms.

The young Slytherin waited until his father opened his eyes. "Where is your mum?" Tobias Snape asked with a strained voice. He must have known; mum would not leave his side. She would be next to him if she were well.

Severus saw the mirrored anxiety he felt when he saw Lil's burnt house. The only way Death Eaters would have had access was if the secret keeper was dead. He rushed home and saw her dead body. The killing curse no doubt.

"Eileen!" His father yelled. Several other patients grumbled. Severus had a lump in his throat. If he said the words they became real. Mum had been so happy, living in borrowed time. She lived a few years more than last time and had bore another son who was now orphaned.

Severus held his hand when the man sat up. "Dad, she's dead." His voice broke when his father shook his head in denial.

Tobias breathed a single word, "no." Severus then asked the question that burned inside him. He did not understand what happened.

"Dad, what happened?" Neither Tobias nor Severus registered the use of the word dad.

The older man cried silently but explained nonetheless. "I got home for lunch and went to check on your brother. Eileen, she, she said that she had to go get some supplies for one of her potions and vanished." He stopped and looked at Severus with sad eyes.

"She was happy because you were coming to dinner and wanted to show you her findings in that draught you were working on." He remembered. They worked on Draught of the Living Dead.

"Eileen came back with one of her kind. He asked where you and Lily were. I put your brother in his crib and shut his bedroom door. I came down and your mother hexed me. Next thing I remember is waking here."

Tobias expected an explanation too. "I took the train with Lily. The Evans are dead too. Death Eaters burned their house. Lils and I ran home and we found you bleeding and mum was on the floor. Gussie was crying..."

"Your brother, he's fine right?" Tobias said with a small voice.

"Yes, he's perfect." Severus said consolingly.

"Severus, please, I don't want to be here. I want to see Leen." His dad said with a pleading tone.

"Dad, I don't think..."

"Severus, please. I want to see her." His father stood up and asked for his clothes.

Severus helped him. They walked back to the waiting room. Dumbledore and Lily were there, sitting by the blue chairs, waiting for them.

"I am very sorry for your loss Mr. Snape." The headmaster said somberly. "Severus, I don't have words for you. You must be brave son, now more than ever." The man looked truly concerned and Severus was reminded of all those nights he went out for missions. Minerva, Poppy and Albus waiting for him. Albus was a manipulative man but sometimes he had good intentions. He had accepted him and taught him. Albus had offered his friendship even when he was nothing more than a turncoat.

Albus patted him in the back. Lily stood up from her chair and held his hand. "Come with me Severus. We must get to the Burrow. Arthur and Molly are expecting you."

He shook his head. "Dad wants to see her." Augustus moaned in his sleep.

"It is best if we go to the safe-house first. It will be safe for you…"

Tobias shook his head and ignored Dumbledore. Not many people did so. "Take me to your mother now." Severus nodded.

He handed Gus to Lily. "I will see you at the Burrow." He grabbed his dad's hand and disapparated.

He made it to Spinner's End. Tobias let go of his hand and puked. Severus helped him up. They walked to their home. Mum was where he left her. Severus had not felt this vulnerable in years. It took a lot out of him to see Tobias crumble to the floor and weep for mum. Severus suddenly felt a murderous need to be near Lily, he wanted to hold her, to be near her. Dad cried silently. Severus went upstairs and grabbed clothes for him and Gussie. He did not think his father would be likely to come back here anytime soon.

"Dad, we have to go." Severus said and helped him up from the floor. "I want a drink." He said with a shameful tone.

He turned white. Tobias was fine. He had not had a drink in five years. He was sober, he attended A.A meetings regularly. His "dad" could not slip.

"Son, do something. Make it go away Severus; bring Eileen back. She can make it better." Tobias cried and Severus did something he never thought he would do. He hugged his dad without prompting.

"I can't bring her back. There's no amount of magic that can do that dad. Mum died, she saved you and Gus. She would not want you to drink again. Gussie needs you." He said as Tobias Snape cried against his son's shoulders.

"How do we do this? How do you bury a magical person?" Tobias wiped his tears and looked at his son for advice.

"The headmaster; he will take care of everything. We have to go dad. This place isn't safe anymore." Tobias nodded and glanced at mum's peaceful face. Severus put a charm on her face; it would not do for dad to see mum's terrified face.

They apparated to the Burrow without a problem. He glimpsed the crooked structure that stood out in the middle of some fields. "We have to walk, Arthur placed anti-apparating charms around the property. Severus led the way; soon they were in front of the house.

Lily opened the kitchen door and hugged him hard. He hugged her back and never wanted to leave her arms. Arthur and Molly welcomed them inside the house. It was the first time he set foot inside this place. It was cozy; there were toys in the living room. The house was not as crooked as pictured by Harry when they had their occlumency lessons. There were going to be more room in the future years to accommodate all the teenagers.

The house had three floors now. There were no bedrooms in the first floor. Each child had his own room but for the twins. They had been moved tonight in expectancy of the newcomers. The Weasleys offered their condolences. The children were asleep. "I can take him to Percy's room. Charlie can sleep with Bill tonight. We'll figure things out tomorrow morning. You must be really tired Mr. Snape. You'll sleep in our guest room in the third floor. Severus can have the attic and Lily can sleep in Charlie's room."

Tobias nodded. Severus wanted to Severus wanted to go to his small room in the Leaky Cauldron. He looked at his father and Lily and knew that they needed him here.

Arthur led Tobias to a room in the second landing. His muggle father looked dazed and refused to let Gussie sleep in any other room. Molly transfigured a drawer into a small cot for Gussie.

Tobias watched his eldest son and hugged him. "Don't do anything stupid. Stay here tonight. We'll decide what to do tomorrow." Severus nodded and left the room.

Lily settled in another room in the second landing too. Molly went with her. Severus supposed their hostess went to see to Lil's needs. Severus, Gus and Tobias had clothes whereas all of his best friend's clothes had been burned inside her house. Dad had been cleaned in St. Mungos. Lily would probably take a bath or a shower and then go to sleep.

Arthur gave him Ronald's room. The ghoul had not formed or was not there yet. The room was quiet and small. The young Slytherin remembered this room being decorated in loud oranges and dozens of quidditch posters. Not yet, Molly did not even know she was pregnant.

He gazed at the ceiling. He waited for the bathroom to be unoccupied. He needed to take a shower. Mum was dead, Severus cried silently. She was supposed to see him finish his apprenticeship. Three more weeks and she would have seen him. Agustus would not have a mum. Tobias could slip and drink again. Severus remembered this pain vaguely. Eileen Prince died when he was seventeen. He was nineteen and the loss was just as acute as the first time. He wiped his tears and went to shower. He thought about the war. Death Eaters everywhere, attacks, murders, and disappearances left and right. Nothing made sense anymore because people kept dying and he could no nothing to protect them. Would Lily die too? What would happen to Gussie and dad? Would they live? Severus did not whether Tobias Snape was dead or alive in the first lifetime.

He went back to Ronald's room and closed his eyes. He willed his mind to quiet. Severus Snape did not want to think about what his mother's or the Evan's deaths. His instincts were deeply rooted. He woke up and trained his wand at the intruder.