Cauldrons and Lilies

Chapter 25

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Chapter 25

He was dirty, sweaty and whole. He was home. Lily kissed his lips and sought access to his mouth. She had looked everywhere. The burrow, here, muggle London, the Leaky Cauldron. She had even gone to Hogsmeade. She went to the Three Broomsticks and no Severus. She even considered Hogwarts; after all they had disapparated from James's together.

Nothing mattered anymore. He was here, he was home, and he was whole. She kissed him again and again until she was trying to undress him. He looked at her with lust and desired filled eyes. He wanted her but was to a gentleman to say anything about it. Lily had been living with him for about a week until she gave up all pretenses and slipped inside his covers. She had been sleeping with him ever since. There was no physical intimacy. She had been so sad after her parents' murders. It was not the time to be thinking about sex. Lily had been scared but tonight was the night. She wanted Severus and could not deny it anymore. She felt giddy. Severus would be her first everything. Her first real friend, her first kiss, her first and only man. Lily Evans was convinced that this man would be the only one. She could not think about sharing this with anyone else. They were together. They did not broadcast it to the world but they were a couple.

Severus kissed her neck. Lily moaned and the sound did something for her best friend. He growled. Lily felt powerful. She looked at his dirty face and tried to undo his robes. "You should never wear these robes. I hate them." He laughed and helped her. Lily would not give up her muggle clothes. Severus had her in her underwear in less than five minutes. He suddenly stopped. Lily felt self-conscious then. She was not as thin as Tuney or as beautiful as Narcissa. She was just Lily, too short, her stomach was not toned and her breasts were too small or apart. Severus looked at her with a fascinated expression. She kissed him. She was too nervous and he was too quiet.

Severus kissed her more and more to the point in which he did not know how they were in bed half naked. Lily exhaled deeply when he caressed her face. "I love you." Sev toyed with the strap of her brassier. She stopped his hand. She was nervous. "I'm sorry Lils. I thought." He sat up. She wanted this. "I love you too." She was a Gryffindor. Gryffindors were brave and bold. "This is my first time." She said honestly. Keep calm; this is Sev, your best friend.

"But Potter and you?" He asked or insinuated. He looked very surprised.

Lily shook her head, "Never, nothing more than a few heated kisses. It never felt right." She said in a small voice. Maybe there was something wrong with her. She expected fireworks when she kissed James but they never happened. She felt wizard fireworks whenever Sev touched her.

She kissed him again. He kissed her again. "Are you sure? We can wait." He rested his forehead on hers. She grabbed his hands and kissed them. "I want this." She made love to him that night. They became one.

She woke up when Severus rained kisses on her back. She opened her eyes and he was there with her. He looked amazingly happy. Lily was sure she looked the same way. "You have to get to St. Mungos." He kissed her shoulder blade. "I don't want to go." Lily turned all the way and hugged him. They were naked. She would not mind waking up like this every day.

"Last night was incredible." She kissed his jaw and loved it when he tickled her ribs. They made love once more and then Lily showered. She needed to be in St. Mungos by 8:30. Severus fell back to sleep. He did not need to be anywhere until later that day when he had to brew potions for the Order. Lily brushed her hair and apparated to her job. She was now in charge of the emergency ward. She appreciated the training. It came in handy when she was out in missions with the Order.

She could not help but think about yesterday. She had been so happy to see Sev that she forgot to ask. It weighed on her mind now. She glanced at the clock. He should be home now. She would wait those five minutes until her lunch break and apparate to their flat. After Severus left she stayed in the Marauder's flat. Remus and Peter stayed with her. James ignored her for the most part. After their break up he could not look at her anymore and avoided her at all costs. Lily did the same because truth be told she was not comfortable with him either. Too much had passed between them for them to be friendly with each other after such a short period of time. Peter trailed after James who looked for Sirius. Remus was the only one who actually wanted her there. She could not leave because Sev would come out any moment now.

Two hours passed and she decided to leave when Sirius and James came back. "He can just be gone. He's a kid. I can't believe father does not know where he is. Mother should have known this would happen." Sirius paced in front of her with a frown on his face.

Lily did not want to be nosy so she tried to leave undetected. James quickly glanced at her and then looked back at his best friend. Remus seemed concerned too. "What is it Padfoot?"

"Regulus is missing. He's been missing for two weeks. No one knows where he is." Lily then knew it was her cue to leave. She was no longer privy to these moments. She was no longer James's girlfriend and therefore all ties with Sirius were severed. Her only friend among the group of popular men was Remus.

"I have to go." She made for the door when Sirius called her out. "Evans, wait." He looked at her in the eyes and asked, "Snape. He's still friends with Narcissa yeah?" Lily nodded.

"Ask him. Cissy has to know if he's fine. I need to know he's fine." The young man looked desperate. She nodded and disapparated. The conversation left her rattled. A feeling of fear settled in her and she needed to know where Severus was.

Lily snapped back from her musings and apparated back home. Sev was eating soggy cereal. He had showered and put on a black fitted t-shirt and his flannel pants. He was not leaving then. She smiled and kissed his mouth. He kissed her back. It suddenly dawned on her that she had to ask what happened yesterday. She sat next to him in the couch as they tuned into some mindless TV show. "Yesterday night; you were with Dumbledore." She stated. Lily knew that Sev was part of secret missions with the headmaster. Her boyfriend nodded. She understood that he could not tell her about those missions. He tried to change the subject. Lily was too used to his distraction tactics. "You don't have to tell me love. I know he trusts you. I trust you and I trust Dumbledore."

Something in his eyes clouded. "You should not trust people so much." He said enigmatically and kissed her hand.

"I stayed at Remus's place. Regulus Black is missing." Severus nodded. "He's dead." He sounded really saddened.

Lily gasped. "Dumbledore told me yesterday night. He defected." Severus looked at a fixed point in the wall.

"I have to tell Sirius. He should know." Severus shook his head. "The Headmaster will take care of the news. It is not our place."

"But, he's desperate and his parents don't know anything." Lily pleaded. Severus grabbed her hands. "You are not supposed to know Lils. Love, this is not about Sirius or Reg. It's about the war. We have to keep quiet. He cannot know until it is necessary."

Lily nodded reluctantly. "He wanted you to ask Narcissa Malfoy."

Severus sighed. "Cissy does not know about Reg's death either. I am sure."

She felt a little insecure then. Severus and Narcissa wrote to each other. Lily was a little jealous, they shared a bond that Lily could not penetrate. Cissy as he and Sirius called her had been there for Severus when he was in school. The woman knew about pureblood politics and etiquette, things Lily did not know. She pushed the insecurity down. Severus loved her. He showed her last night. He desired her, worshipped her but she could not dispel the strange feeling of inadequacy. Severus had been experienced. It had not been his first time. Somebody else had been his first. She did not ask, she did not feel comfortable asking. Severus was her oldest and best friend and now her lover. He was her lover. Lily was so inexperienced and it had taken a lot of time to finally be here that she did not want to ruin anything.

"Let's get something to eat. You have to get back to the hospital in fifty minutes." He said and stood up. They made it to an Indian take out shop. Lily loved the spicy food. The knowledge of Regulus Black's death weighed heavily on her. She tried to make small conversation and forget but she could not. Severus reassured her and logically told her that Sirius knowing earlier than expected would not change anything.

She went back to the hospital and worked all day long. She was about to apparate when someone called her name. "Lily." Sirius jogged to her side.

"Sirius." She replied. "I asked Sev and he asked Narcissa. She doesn't know anything more than you.

He slumped but walked with her. "I had hoped that Snivellus would know." Lily frowned. "Goodnight." She said briskly and walked ahead. Sirius must have apparated away because she found the alley and was about to apparate when someone grabbed her arm. "Sirius, I said…" She did not finish because she saw Severus wicked smile and kissed him.

"I was about to go home." She said once she wiped lipstick from his lips.

"I know but I thought we could go out tonight. I don't know, do something other than worry about the war and work." Lily smiled and kissed his lips.

"Where are we going?" She asked happily.

"Wherever you want." He said echoing her smile.

They ended up going to a pub and then to a park. Lily loved the swings. It was a hot summer night and they were sitting side by side. She laughed happily. She had not laughed this much since she was sixteen. Severus chuckled too. "I'm going to do it Sev." She said and jumped to the ground.

Severus jumped too. He pointed his wand and protected them from intruders. No attacks would come their way. Lily rested her head on his arm. She watched the stars. "When was the last time we were like this?"

They lie on the grass gazing up. "I don't know two three years?" He answered honestly.

"I like this. When is just us." She giggled.

He chuckled. "We could stay here. Never move." He said with a wistful tone. She kissed his mouth. "I love you."

Severus kissed her nose. "I love you more." He said with open, warm dark brown eyes. They did not notice the huge black dog watching them from a distance.