Nobody ever asked my birthday

Chapter 170

Harry had arrived early to DA practice, and with him had come half the Gryffindors, if not more. The Hufflepuffs had arrived early too, and Harry thought he'd seen Draco Malfoy off strutting about, proud as a duckling with his Inquisitor's Badge. Or whatever Snape was calling the damned quislings.

Perfect, Harry Potter thought, with a sly smile that he took care to not let reach his face. "Oi, do you remember the time Snape decided I needed detention for taking a library book outside?"

"Oh, what did you get for that one?" Colin Creevey asked.

"Dissecting mugworts and devenoming fanged snails."

"Oh, I can top that one," Susan Bones put in, "Snape decided that my purple Strengthening potion was a dash too pink, and gave me detention for a week!"

"He never gives me detention, I just get that look." Hermione put in, aping it to the laughter of everyone around. "You know, the one that says you're lower than dirt, and don't deserve to be in his classroom." Harry wanted to chuckle at that one, wanted to see the look on Hermione's face if she ever figured out what Snape truly thought of her. But no.

"Do you remember when I had to dissect shrivelfigs for their seeds?" Harry put in.

"Oh, yeah, you got that one for breathing!" Ron said.

"To be fair," Harry said with some chagrin, "I did have a cold, so I was breathing rather loudly."

Neville, who had been doing his usual 'hide in plain sight', spoke up, "Here's one. My first year, Snape pulls me aside after class, shuts and locks the door. Then he casts a silencing spell, and that's when I know I'm in for it. Because that means that he doesn't want anyone to hear. And he sits there, studying me with that hawklike nose of his, and those beady black eyes." Harry had to fight to not chuckle at that, it was a description they all knew well.

"And then he starts in on me, laying in - calling me half a dozen things you'd figure he'd not know about. And it's not enough to call me names, no - he's got examples for every single one of them. So it's truth he's using, not a shred of exaggeration. Calling me a coward - reminding me of when I hunkered away from Malfoy. Calling me a failure - reminding me that I never did manage the first transfiguration spell." Harry was starting to shift a bit uncomfortably - he hadn't actually expected something quite this soul-baring - it was tough just listening to it, tough not to get angry.

"I'm not saying a word, mind. Listening, yes, but not saying anything." Neville says, "And I know that this is getting to him, because he finishes listing my faults, and then looks at me and asks sharply, "Well?!" "

"And I say, as solid as stone, "Are you going to expel me, sir? Since I'm such a failure?" Snape whirls, stalking off and then coming back, and he's looming over me, and he says, in a voice soft as silk, "You, Mister Longbottom, are no fun." "

And the Gryffindors are laughing at that, Hermione giggling out, "he sounds just like what Malfoy might say," - and the Hufflepuffs are laughing too, but the Slytherins are exchanging uneasy glances, perhaps unsure about hearing about this side of their Head of House. He's well known to beat up on Potter, of course, and to some extent on the rest of the Gryffindors - but this exchange? It hints at more. Much more.

Serves the bloody bastard right if he's listening in, Harry Potter thinks with a vengeance, glad when the Ravenclaws come in and start to teach.

[a/n: So. Harry knows that Snape could be listening in on any of these. Telling stories about Snape is one way to get back at him. If, that is, he's listening.

Do you think he's listening?

Write a review, if you like.

Second post of the day.]