Nobody ever asked my birthday

Poor Widdle Potter

"Well, well, well," Draco Malfoy said, and Harry could instantly tell that Draco was 'warming up' - the sort that was generally followed by laying into someone but good. "If it isn't poor widdle Potter, laid up in the infirmary again."

Harry stayed silent. He'd learned at the Dursley's to be quiet when people took umbrage at his very existence. He wasn't keeping quiet now, though - just biding his time.

"What did you do this time?" Draco Malfoy said, his voice mocking, "Take a tumble - down the stairs?"

Pansy giggled at this, but Harry failed to see the humor. At all.

"No, no, no," Draco continued, as if he didn't need Potter as part of the conversation at all. "Poor orphan Potter, too worthless a wizard to defend himself from a Muggle."

Draco leaned over the bed, looking at Potter's leg. It might have just been Harry's imagination, but he thought he saw Draco pale, a bit. Draco turned to Pansy, and said, "This looks pretty bad. Figure they'll cut it off?"

Pansy giggled, the sound as teeth-grating as ever. No, worse, actually, as she let it trail on, and Harry caught up to the fact that she never giggled in the Room of Requirement. "I hope so! It would go dashingly with his scar. I've always wanted to design something properly rakish." Pansy leaned forward, onto her elbows, on her infirmary bed. Harry was ... moderately disturbed, to realize that she was deliberately flashing her cleavage. How had she gotten her robes to ... flatter her like that?

Draco scowled at Pansy, as if she was throwing his shtick off. And maybe she was. "The Professor," there was no need to wonder who, "said that you were in the Forbidden Forest this morning. Are you unable to comprehend a simple adjective, now?"

"No," Harry said sullenly.

Draco continued, "Someone ought to take points."

Pansy smiled brightly, "Or you could just show me the letter. It's from my family, don't you think I deserve to read it?"

Harry sighed, crossed his arms, and actively grumphed at Malfoy, "You don't want to take points from me."

Malfoy cocked an eyebrow at this opening gambit. Understandably. Harry felt that in Malfoy's world, Potter was always in need of losing more points.

Harry did his best to look bedraggled, and said, "Snape's going to take more points than you would, I'd wager. That is, if you don't take points first."

"Why do you suppose we can't both take points?" Malfoy asked, looking more quizzical than Harry had anticipated. That meant this gambit wasn't going as well as he'd thought it might. Drat.

"Yes, Potter, Do tell us how you've managed to arrive at this astounding conclusion?" Snape said from the doorway, as he leaned his back against it. That was a move that Malfoy often did, but Harry saw it here as the positioning it was meant to be - 'complete your business.'

"Um, Double Jeopardy?" Harry said, trying out a sprightly smile. If you knew you were already in trouble for being stupid, it might help if you played it up a little.

There were blank looks of incomprehension all round. Or, it could just be the Slytherins looking Slytherin. Harry couldn't tell based on the faces, but he rather thought Malfoy would have laughed in his face if he'd understood the apparently Muggle concept.

"You know, if you're given a trial for a crime or misdemeanor, you can't be tried again?" Harry ventured.

"What part of this medical unit looks like a courtroom, Potter?" Snape spat dismissively. Malfoy looked like he'd wanted to chime in, but had all words stolen by Snape.

"As a prefect," Snape said spinning towards Malfoy, "Your badge entitles you to take points based on observed behaviors. Ones that you personally observe."

Malfoy nodded, which wasn't the response Harry had thought he would give. "And the other badge?" Malfoy politely inquired.

"As a special deputy to yours truly, you are indeed allowed to take points based on your investigations." Snape said, "However, it would be arrogance of the highest order to assume that you know more than I do about a situation that I myself witnessed."

Malfoy nodded, quietly, a very small nod. Harry quietly savored Malfoy finding the sharp side of Snape's tongue.

"Five points for accompanying a lady to the infirmary." Snape said, "Your time here is at an end."

Malfoy looked as if he would very much like to stay, but something in Snape's impassive gaze convinced him otherwise.

[a/n: Guesses as to what comes next? Since readers asked for it, you have your Malfoy, being a general dick. Because he does that, and everyone knows it. Gotta stick to character, right?

I've been having fun plotting out things way in the future, so this story might speed up some. Maybe. If the characters stop shouting for screentime.

Re: Guest, thinking about Pansy x Harry - Harry and Pansy would be possibly the WORST pairing imaginable. Pansy would be much more suited to a milksop of a man. This may say some things about Draco Malfoy, yes, I'm aware. You'll notice, in this story, she's no longer interested in him. Malfoy doesn't mind - Pansy has claws.

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