Nobody ever asked my birthday

Keelhauling

Order Meeting Saturday.

After the last Order meeting, Harry had been exasperated. It had seemed the height of stupidity to not have Snape's insight.

And then Harry'd been informed that Snape was listening to the entire meeting.

That had been deflating.

But that didn't change certain matters of solidity - The Order Meetings were bloody boring. If Harry and his friends hadn't worked their arses off to get into the meetings in the first place... he'd have recommended skipping them. But no, they'd been so determined to be Full Order Members... Now they were eating their own words, and having to smile through it all.

Maybe Hermione was learning oodles of useful information. Harry really ought to ask. Belatedly, Harry's guilt caught up with him - why wasn't he learning as much as he could? Order meetings were fantastic opportunities (even he didn't believe his own poppycock, but he was going to try).

That left the problem of how early to arrive. Harry'd arrived early, before, because it was interesting - watching Snape set up - camp I guess you'd call it. Watching where everyone else sat. The rest of the younger order members arrived later.

The Twins! The twins were coming. Oh, gods above! Harry thought. I can't be explaining what scheme I'm running, not just after an Order Meeting!? His face! Oh, my god, I have to stop this from happening!

Harry knew he was often not on time for Potions class (and the rest of the classes, really). But, this time he was going to arrive nearly late, intentionally. That just sounded wicked, and not in a "this is awesome" kind of way.

Maybe he could get Hermione to help him? Harry thought hopefully, before the reality that Hermione was always on time reasserted itself.

Harry had to arrive just in time, and leave as quickly as he dared.

He couldn't stop the niggling feeling that Snape was going to keelhaul him in front of the entire Order. Not that Harry didn't deserve it.

Harry had a sudden burst of inspiration. Hadn't Draco created a room where others could create what they wanted? Harry would create a door, and a place to hide behind it. Then, right before the meeting officially started, he'd emerge.

What could go wrong with a plan like that?

[a/n: Oh, Harry, don't tempt fates.

Practically every word that Snape thinks or speaks is part of one scheme or another, and often several. There's a few clues buried in the last chapter. Happy digging!

Leave a review, they really do prompt me to write more story.]