Nobody ever asked my birthday

Chapter 309

Harry Potter had woken up to quite a few unpleasant realizations Monday morning.

1) The girls had not stopped flocking after him.

2) Slytherin girls were now also following him (though he'd had the rare good fortune to watch Parvati try to flirt with Malfoy - her dark Indian skin a brilliant contrast to Malfoy's alabaster-blue.)

3) Some, rather cutely blushing, younger boys had decided to try flirting with Harry. This was disturbing, both because Harry wasn't interested, and because he couldn't for the life of him figure out why they would be interested in him.

4) Harry really, really didn't want Snape to figure out that Harry knew.

5) Harry sincerely doubted his own ability to "act as though he knew nothing." Slytherins were sharp after all, and Snape was their Head of House for a reason.

Harry, however, was a Gryffindor, so instead of pissing himself with fear, he decided to plunge ahead doing as best as he could.

Oddly enough, his abject ignorance of whatever the flipperty girls had been flirting with him about, didn't actually upset any of them. Apparently this made him "dreamy" and "Byronic" (whatever that means!).

Harry was going to need a new plan for dealing with the Entire Student Body trying to get him into the sack. The only bright side Harry could see was that Draco Malfoy was dealing with the same. (And, Harry thought, from the glares he was giving, that was actually Malfoy, and not Zambini). Only difference was Malfoy had managed to attract the older boys (also disturbing.) Harry made a mental note to not think about what the fuck this meant, and instead focus on fixing the problem.


Snape strode into the DADA classroom as usual, robes swirling behind him. "Put your homework on the podium, and break into groups of four." Oddly enough, it was Tracey Davis who spoke up, as most people were busy rustling their papers out of their bags, "How should we divide ourselves, sir? What will we be doing?"

Snape elected not to answer the second question, and answered the first in bored tones, "Divide by compatibility." Harry absently moved up to the front to hand in his homework, knowing that he'd been more thorough on this than he usually was. Well, this wasn't books, this was basically writing an essay about himself, and what he'd told his friends. Easy, right?

What wasn't so easy was coming up with people he was compatible with. Hermione? Ron? Ernie? Sue Bones? Malfoy? Knowing who he was compatible with was devilish tricky. At some point, he decided to just stand at the edge of the room, and pick a group that needed an extra man.

The Slytherin girls arranged themselves together, to no one's surprise. Seamus, Dean were together, looking for a partner set - Padma and Parvati joined them, and Harry had to fight back a smile. Those were two compatible pairs, but would they work well together?

Harry wound up in a group with Mandy, Morag, and Hermione. He figured he'd be the odd one out, but - it was better than trying to deal with Ron and Lavender, making kissy faces at each other. Harry didn't think they were terribly magically compatible, even if they seemed to fit together in other ways.

[a/n: No, we're not done with class yet. People haven't even turned in their homework. Leave a review?

As to why Harry's driving himself crazy? Well, for one thing, he's burying his nerves inside. Why now? Because before he was deliberately avoiding thinking about it at all, under the theory that Voldie can't notice what Harry isn't emoting about.]