Nobody ever asked my birthday

Nobody ever listens

Harry Potter stepped into the Headmaster's Office, right into the full force of Snape's dark glare. Nevermind that Harry was facing Dumbledore's kindly, if baffled, expression. Snape's presence seemed to bend the room, his dark eyes like deep gravity wells.

Entering after his Head of House, Harry Potter stood at ease, looking at Dumbledore. (It wasn't as if it was appropriate to keep Snape in view - Harry rather thought That Was The Point of Snape looming in a back corner. He could observe, and loom over people.).

"Harry!" Dumbledore said, as usual managing to sound like seeing Harry Potter was the highlight of his day. Then again, looking at the mountains of paperwork, Harry figured that might actually be the case. Even if this was... well, an investigatory meeting. It was probably still better that shoveling the hippogriff shite from the Ministry. "How are you, my boy?" And yes, there was genuine concern lurking in the back of his eyes. Whatever mangled, half wrong story had caused Dumbledore to worry.

"Right as rain," Harry said, shrugging. It was true. He hadn't even gone to the infirmary - scratch that, he hadn't even thought that he might want to go to the infirmary. Sure, there'd been plenty of times in his life when he hadn't gone to the infirmary because he hadn't wanted help... but, in this case, he truly didn't need help. Harry figured the salve Snape had placed by his bedside was probably not necessary either. It wasn't like it had kept hurting on the long walk to Gryffindor Tower, or like his skin was broken - or leaking.

Snape snorted from the back of the room. The whirs and clicks of the whats-its are momentarily joined by the soft shuffle of Snape's robes.

"Then, why," Dumbledore says, looking up at Harry, who was mildly surprised no one had asked him to sit. Had this always been an option? Sitting always makes me feel so small. "Did Miss Granger feel compelled to report your state to your Head of House?"

Harry shrugs, "Hermione's never been one for patience, Professor. I did promise I was going to tell her... I haven't figured out what to say."

Prof. McGonagall says, sternly, "Harry says this wasn't a detention. It was Order Business."

Harry nods at Prof. McGonagall.

From behind them, Snape exhales loudly through his nose.

McGonagall says, smartly, "Then, we can consider this investigation complete. As it was not school business, it is no business of mine as Head of House, nor yours as Headmaster."

Snape says quietly, "We have more problems than this petty investigation."

"Student well-being is never petty, Severus," Professor McGonagall chided. "I will not compromise on that point, ever."

Snape sneered, "Regardless of what Potter's informed you of, this was merely training. I expect his training to escalate in the near term, and hope you will spare me the lecture in the Headmaster's Office."

Spinning to look into Snape's eyes, Harry spoke up, "I didn't say anything!" It didn't take much editing to leave the 'sir' out, either.

Snape rolled his eyes. Dumbledore spoke at that moment, sparing Harry Snape's vitriol, "Harry, do you understand that sometimes not saying a thing can be the worst thing to say?"

"I'm beginning to learn that, sir." Harry said.

[a/n: Fortune Cookie Dumbledore. So badly wanted Snape to say that, but Harry does know about fortune cookies.

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