Nobody ever asked my birthday


Harry was five minutes late for Defense Club. He was also the first person there. He looked around, almost went to take a step outside, before remembering just how much Malfoy and the Claws had been dicking around about the club.

Maybe they changed the time? Harry thought, pulling out one of McGonagall's books from his satchel.

About twenty minutes later, Pansy showed up. "You're early," she said, crossing her legs on a chair - which wouldn't have been nearly so distracting if Harry hadn't been working on the floor.

"I guess? I thought we were supposed to..." Harry said.

"It's what you get for..." Pansy said.

"never showing up, I know, I know." Harry responded.

Hermione and Ron stumbled in next, by which Harry meant that Hermione entered, back first, with Ron's arms wrapped around her. Faintly, from down the hall, there was a disgusted noise. Then, Ron nudged the door closed with his foot.

Harry was concerned his eyes were really turning into saucers, they'd gotten so big. His mouth had fairly fallen down to the floor, too.

Then Pansy started clapping, Harry's eyes flew to hers, which were sparkling in delight.

By the time his eyes had gotten back to Hermione and Ron, they were ... looking like friends again.

"What's wrong with Harry?" Ron asked.

Pansy purred, "I think you fooled him..."

I was just getting around to that, thank you very much. Harry thought crossly.

Hermione squealed, "Pansy! Your skirt!"

Pansy looked down, quite deliberately, "Yes?"

Hermione hustled over, and - while simultaneously trying to pull Pansy's skirt down... whispered too loudly, "Your panties are showing!"

... and that would be the reason I'd been having trouble concentrating earlier, yes. I didn't think she'd take it well if I'd mentioned it, either, Harry thought ruefully.

Pansy gave a gap-toothed grin, and sprang to her feet, "You noticed."

Harry noticed her skirt growing another three inches.

Goyle entered the room quietly, looked around and asked, "Where is everyone?"

"That's what I've been wanting to know!" Harry said.

"Nobody asked you, Potter," Romilda Vane said, her voice surprisingly warm for what she had to say.

"I bet she'd love it if he asked her, though," Hermione muttered to Pansy.

Harry discretely inched away from Romilda, closing books as he went.

"What's this Harry?" Romilda asked.

Shite. Harry thought, I should have hidden them when I had the chance.

"Advanced Transfiguration?" Romilda asked.

Harry boggled, looking down at The Animagus Transformation, Methodological Principles Thereof.

Oh, it's magic, Harry thought.

Hermione spoke up, "Harry, that's wonderful! We'd wondered what Professor McGonagall had to say to you!"

Harry looked at Hermione, and looked at her good and hard - she didn't seem... quite genuine. Which was weird, because she was saying what she normally did. Oh, that would be the point, wouldn't it? Don't say things that sound weird in front of... your not-friends.


"Would you guys care to help me set up?" Greg Goyle asked, from a position far enough away from the door that they really should have noticed him.

"Set up what?" Pansy asked, stretching languidly like a cat, raising her breasts up as she stretched out her long limbs.

[a/n: I swear I meant for something to happen, and then This. The story writes itself folks. Leave a review!]